Levant family looks to adopt 4th child

Kim and Deane Shaw of Levant are caring foster parents who have adopted three of the children who came into their home and their hearts at various points in the past seven years, and they are in the process of adopting a fourth.

The first three children all are 12 years old. The two girls and one boy are not triplets or even distantly related by blood. Yet all have learned to care for others, and themselves, in a home that reverberates with love, humor and family values.

The fourth child is a 5-year-old girl the Shaws hope to call their own soon.

The upcoming month of May is National Foster Care Month. To honor foster parents everywhere, the Maine-ly Children column will profile Maine families who have provided shelter, food, clothing and plenty of caring to some of the state’s 3,000 foster children who never can go home to their biological parents again.

For the Shaws – Kim is 36 and Deane is 38 – the decision to adopt four of the nine children who have come into their care in their seven years as foster parents seemed a natural thing to do.

Under normal conditions, nobody would attempt to adopt three children of the same age, a fact that the Shaws acknowledge. Yet circumstances, timing and a strong feeling about it being right played key roles in the couple’s decision.

The children are not named in this column, per request of the Shaws. The first child they adopted, a girl, became a member of the family at age 5. The second, also a girl, was adopted at age 8. The third, a boy, was adopted when he was 9.

“They came to us and needed us and we needed them,” Kim Shaw recalled.

Kim Shaw is a full-time wife and mom. She manages a busy household on 21/2 country acres in Levant. Her husband works as a nursing assistant in pediatrics at Eastern Maine Medical Center.

When they got married a decade ago, the plan was to have four children of their own, Kim Shaw said. When they discovered that couldn’t happen for medical reasons, the couple didn’t have to look far to know what to do next with their desire to build a family.

Kim’s sister was a foster parent at the time. In her care was a sweet-natured 5-year-old girl who badly needed a “forever” mom and dad. So the first adoption came about. That girl now is one of the 12-year-olds gracing the family tree and is a well-adjusted fifth-grader who enjoys social activities, sports and Girl Scouts. The other 12-year-old girl is very athletic, enjoying all sports. The boy is relaxed and a bit quieter than his sisters. He enjoys music, art and playing soccer on the town’s rec team.

The 5-year-old is a friendly “girl’s girl” who enjoys Barbie dolls, Polly Pocket miniature dolls and accessories, shopping and dressing up. Completing the household are two “cockapoo” dogs that are half poodle and half cocker spaniel. Lacey, an 8-month-old puppy, is liver and white in color. Emily is a friendly, buff-colored 9-year-old pooch.

Days at the Shaw household start at 6 a.m., when everybody gets up and gets ready for work or school.

At home, television seems to take second place to action as the children prefer playing games and other activities. The older ones enjoy teaching the 5-year-old girl how to play Candyland and other activities. The older girls are learning to sew. About once a month, Deane Shaw stages a fire drill and everyone has to exit the 11/2-story cape and meet on the lawn. Dean Shaw is a member of the Levant Volunteer Fire Department.

Rules are quite consistent in the household, though Kim and Dean Shaw practice flexibility as needed.

“We’re structured but we can sit back and laugh and know that’s OK,” Kim Shaw said. The family tries to make it to church regularly.

The rules enforce discipline and accountability. “We tell the children we have rules, ‘because someday you will be active members of the community and we want you to be positive members of the community,”‘ Kim Shaw said.

The state has a real need for more foster parents, and the Shaws encourage people interested to get information on the issue. Adopting foster children is rewarding too, according to the Levant couple.

“I think it is rewarding in a sense to provide a safe, loving environment for these kids while they’re going through turmoil,” Kim Shaw said. “I would tell [prospective foster parents] it is difficult to get attached to these children and then have them return to their parents.”

On occasion, Kim Shaw gets asked if she has any “real” children, a question that stings a bit no matter what the intention of the person asking it. “I point out I do have real children. I just didn’t give birth to them. I can’t imagine loving any child any differently,” Kim Shaw said.