HOUSE GIFT ADVICE

A friend from the coast who has more trivets than places to put them recently offered the following:

“Everyone likes to visit Maine in July and August, and with houseguests come house gifts. Some are great, but some are terrible. If they ask for advice, here’s a brief guide on what to tell them to avoid and what to bring.

“First among the no-nos are wind chimes and cuckoo clocks and plaques with fish and animals that talk. All that noise soon gets tiresome. Trivets are silent, but they’re out, too. In fact, avoid all dust-catchers – anything useless that clutters a table or has to be hung on a wall. In the food and drink line, forget about smelly cheeses, exotic herbal teas and strange liqueurs that someone once gave you. Indeed, watch out for any recycling of old gifts. They can eventually make the whole circuit and come back to bite you long after everyone has given up on biting them.

“On the positive side, the old reliable is a bottle or two of good or fairly good wine. A good cider is an acceptable alternative. A block of store cheddar is always welcome. A package of good sausages can help the cookout along. Beef seems to be out lately, but a couple of thick steaks would be a neat novelty. And how about a pint or quart of maple syrup? Midway in a visit, it wouldn’t hurt to run down to the pound and buy a mess of lobsters to help fill out the larder.

“Do you get the idea? If it’s something to eat, it soon will be gone and won’t ever cause the recipient to ask, ‘Now what are we ever going to do with this?'”