AND ANOTHER THING …

As young athletes from all corners of the globe gather in Bangor for the Senior Little League World Series, perhaps a brief explanation of some of the curious local customs that have grown up around America’s Pastime is in order. Our fans dress in such outlandish garb as chicken suits because it expresses the joy of the game. Our players and coaches sometimes argue with umpires even though there is no chance of changing the call because it conveys the passion of the game. Our governor welcomes you to Maine by driving his motorcycle out to the pitcher’s mound because – well, some things simply defy explanation.

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At a recent debate sponsored by the southern Maine chapter of the Retired Officers Association, Jonathan Carter, the Green Independent candidate for governor twice tried to describe his plan to bring state policy in line with federal policy and he was twice rebuked by a retired officer for using incorrect data. Mr. Carter finally dropped the specifics and settled for the observation that, “we can do more for those retiring.” Some things apparently defy self-explanation.

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The grand entrance to the State House, the massive granite steps that have served as a political stage since 1832, has been removed temporarily as part of the State House renovation that began in 1999 as an $18 million health and safety upgrade but that will finish as a $53 million total makeover. The rebuilt grand entrance – the $360,000 price tag includes authentic period lighting – will not be open to the public, but lawmakers should find it a handy and handsome access as they convene soon to discuss how in the world Maine got a $200 million budget shortfall.

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Organizers of Hempstock thought they’d found a way around the new mass-gathering ordinance adopted by the town of Starks to block the 12th annual pro-marijuana festival from taking place this coming weekend. Since the town ordinance prohibits more than 4,500 people from gathering for six hours or more, festival organizers planned to clear the crowd – 6,000 to 7,000 in years past – from the fairgrounds after each musical act and re-admitting them before the next, thus giving each performance the status of a separate, ordinance-abiding mass gathering. Superior Court Justice Joseph Jabar rejected the plan, however, ruling the changes were not substantially different from the original format. We think he just figured the instructions – leave, come back, leave, come back – would be too complex for attendees of a pro-marijuana festival.

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The two laptop computers that had been missing from the Tampa military command center conducting the war in Afghanistan have been recovered from the home of a soldier. Military officials refuse to identify the suspect; although the computers contained highly classified information, they say the theft had nothing with espionage but offer no evidence to support that claim. Meanwhile, the Customs Service still can’t find the 2,251 laptops it lost between 1998 and 2001, but in a new report completely off-limits to the public and with so many blacked-out portions members of Congress are furious, Customs officials claim they’re doing much better lately. This provides a valuable lesson to the thousands of Maine middle-schoolers due to take possession of their state-issue laptops within just a few weeks – technology changes, but good old-fashioned stonewalling never goes out of style.