November 07, 2024
Religion

Not by bread allone Amid candlelight and flowers, friars’ lunches for dozen guests stress food as way of reaching out

The first time Nellie Guptill attended lunch for 12 guests at the Friars’ Bakehouse in Bangor, she thought “someone else needs this more than me.” By the end of the meal, she’d changed her mind.

Although the 70-year-old Hermon resident gets out for lunch with a friend now and then and participates in senior organizations, Guptill said the Tuesday luncheons in the Central Street bakery are distinctive.

“You socialize differently at a table with three other people than you do with just one other friend or in a large group,” she said as the chicken broccoli casserole and rice were served. “People need them all.”

The meal is a way for 12 guests to gather around small tables amid candlelight and flowers, to socialize and simply enjoy well-cooked food – for no charge.

Brother Kenneth, one of the two lay Episcopal monks who run the Friars’ Bakehouse, said they stole the idea for the meal from the Sisters of Charity in Quebec.

The Sisters created a program “where they would call other elderly people outside the community and check in with them, see how they were doing and just listen. A lot of people are just forgotten today. It was a wonderful idea and so simple, but it touches people.” It was a short step to inviting those people over for a meal.

Members of St. John’s Episcopal Church in Bangor volunteered to work the luncheon, and the brothers agreed to provide the space. Usually open just four days a week, Wednesdays through Saturdays, the store sat dark the other three.

Now, every third Tuesday of the month, 12 guests join four women from the church who act as hostesses at the bakery’s four tables. The lunches have been offered since March.

Brother Kenneth and Brother Donald, the baker of the two, felt the space could be used to help fulfill the mission of their patron, St. Elizabeth of Hungary, a 13th century noblewoman who devoted her life to feeding and caring for the poor and sick.

“This is the mission of Christ,” said Brother Kenneth as the last of the guests arrived recently. “Christ very simply said, ‘Feed the hungry.’ There is no test to pass to be here; no qualifications.”

Many houses of worship in the area serve free meals regularly. While some serve their meals on china, few, in all likelihood, include candlelight, fresh flowers, quilted placemats and matching cloth napkins as does the Bakehouse luncheon.

Fewer still receive generous donations from strangers to buy such accoutrements.

“Earlier this year, a fellow from North Carolina came in here with his brother, who lives here, to buy some bread,” said Brother Kenneth. “He was so touched by what he saw that he came back for lunch and, before we knew it, he was helping clear tables.”

The man, whose name the monk couldn’t recall, offered to give the brothers a car he was selling. They gently told him that they didn’t need a vehicle. About six weeks later, the man’s brother came in to buy some bread and gave the friars the $500 he had made selling the car. The brothers used the money to get the luncheon started and buy the dishes, linens, candlesticks and glassware.

“Some of the people who come here don’t get out very often and haven’t seen the inside of a restaurant for years,” said Brother Kenneth. “We try to have the same 12 people all the time, so it becomes like a family. During the off-weeks, the hostess calls the other three people at her table, so they stay connected.”

The volunteers who prepared and served a recent meal were Tiele Benson, Liz O’Donnell, Nancy Henry, Thelma Anderson and Esther Sullivan. All live in Bangor and attend St. John’s Episcopal Church. They set up tables at the bakery on the third Monday, then prepare and cook the meal there Tuesday mornings.

On the whole, these women are somewhat younger than most of the people they contact every week and dine with once a month. Yet, they know that in few years a different generation of volunteers might be serving them a meal with the same generosity.

To find people who might benefit from the monthly luncheon, Brother Kenneth consulted area service agencies along with the senior center in downtown Bangor. When one of the 12 moves out of the Bangor area or is no longer able to attend, the monk seeks out a new name. When a seat is empty, he has invited people off the street to join the meal.

Last month, Drew Thomits of the Eastern Maine AIDS Network attended the luncheon to determine if it might be something a few of the agency’s clients who don’t have family nearby might benefit from.

“It’s fabulous,” he said as a chiffon cake and vanilla ice cream were served for dessert. “It’s so different from the normal social services our clients usually receive. This is truly a social outlet where people can talk to other people, share their experiences and make friends.”

Wanda McCormick, 78, moved to Bangor from Huntington, W.Va., with her daughter in December. Attending the monthly luncheon has allowed her to meet people and to learn “helpful and interesting things” about her new home.

“I like the people here,” said Marjorie Jordan, 78, of Veazie. “I enjoy talking with them. It’s a nice group. And they’re such good cooks. It’s pretty special.”

Jeffrey Crandall, 41, of Bangor was one of the younger members of the group recently. Even though he planned to start a new job soon, Crandall said he hopes he will be able to attend the monthly gathering.

“I live alone and this is the best meal I’ve had all week,” he said. “I enjoy hearing the life stories, the histories and the experiences of the seniors here – the younger generation learning [from] the older. And it’s a true reflection of Christianity at its best.”

The friars would like to expand the program so that their store is used for similar luncheons nearly every Tuesday. It costs about $70 a week to pay for the food, said Brother Kenneth. A second team of volunteers from St. John’s Episcopal may be ready to begin preparing and serving a second meal soon.

The monk said he would be open to working with volunteers from other churches committed to sponsoring and preparing a similar monthly luncheon, as well as staying in contact with their tablemates.

While the mission of Christ and St. Elizabeth is never far from those who prepare, serve and partake of the luncheon, the “key ingredient is fun,” according to Brother Kenneth.

People interested in the luncheon program are invited to stop by the Friars’ Bakehouse at 21 Central St., or call 947-3770.


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