MADAWASKA – A Madawaska firefighter who went to New York City to deliver donations from Maine firefighters found the trip changed his outlook on life.

“The disaster changed my life,” Richard Cyr said recently. “I think about life, about family more than I used to.

“Every time the bell rings [signaling a call for firefighters in Madawaska], I now wonder if we will all make it back,” he said. “We never know.”

Cyr, a firefighter since 1967 and president of the Maine State Federation of Firefighters for the last seven years, last May delivered $20,000 raised by Maine firefighters. He will return this fall to bring more money, donations collected since his last trip.

Federation members raised money by selling small decals designed by Peter McDonald, a Mechanic Falls firefighter. The small emblem, designed for the Sept. 11 disaster, still is on sale for $3. About 600 are left.

The fund-raising idea evolved from the federation’s annual convention, held the weekend after the Sept. 11 disaster.

Cyr also delivered money donated by Grand Falls, New Brunswick, firefighters to another firefighting company in New York City.

“What people have seen on television is very little,” Cyr said recently. “People don’t get to see all the New York City firefighters who suffer from survivor’s guilt.”

The NYC firefighters ask themselves why they live while others didn’t. “They will wonder for life,” Cyr said.

Cyr delivered the Maine donation to Engine 16, Ladder 2 company, located two blocks from the twin towers. The company lost eight people in the disaster, seven men in the ladder group and a captain in the engine company.

During his trip to New York City, Cyr developed friendships “that will last a lifetime.”

He said it is rare that someone from New York doesn’t call weekly.

And his wife recently sent the NYC firefighters some Maine maple syrup and ploye mix – ingredients for a crepelike, buckwheat pancake, a staple in St. John Valley homes.

Firefighting in small communities is not like it is in New York City, Cyr noted, but firefighters everywhere put their lives on the line when they are on duty.

“Seeing what I saw makes you change priorities in life,” he said.