PITTSFIELD – When Andrew Gibson and Michael Simon were 16 years old, they vowed to “be best friends forever.” They attended the same high school and college; they saw each other through first loves, car accidents, marriage. Simon was godfather to Gibson’s second son and Gibson is godfather to Simon’s second son.

Despite the miles that separated them – Gibson lives in Maine and the Simon family in New Jersey – they shared secrets, fears, triumphs and defeat. “Whenever there was anything important happening or to decide, I’d call Mike and talk to him about it,” Gibson said.

On Sept. 11, 2001, Simon, almost 40, was at work in the World Trade Center at Cantor Fitzgerald bond company.

Gibson was also at work that day, as pastor of First Congregational Church in Pittsfield. His wife called and told him of the attack. “I foolishly called his office number and of course there was no answer,” said Gibson. “Then I called his home and even though I shouldn’t have been able to get through, I did. When his mother-in-law answered the phone, I knew. She simply told me ‘Yes, he’s in there.'”

Simon’s body was never found.

The lacrosse player, the financial wizard, the hockey player, the youth soccer coach, the big man with a full laugh – Andy Gibson’s best friend was gone forever. “Michael is the only man who I would kiss each time we met and each time we parted, for we loved each other,” said Gibson. “No terrorist or tragedy can ever take that away.”

Simon left behind many people who loved him, including his wife and three children, and more than 1,500 people attended his memorial service.

He also left behind Gibson, who last weekend delivered his oldest son to college in Pennsylvania. “We drove right by the World Trade Center site but we were never tempted to stop. That’s not where Michael is,” said Gibson. “To go and look at a bunch of ash is not what is important to me.”

What is important to Gibson is that the lessons learned on 9-11 never be forgotten.

“We are very good at tending graves and memorials. But how are we at taking care of the living? That’s what 9-11 was telling us. Napoleon said there are two things that galvanize people: fear and self-interest,” said Gibson.

Driving by last week, Gibson said the New York skyline looked empty without the twin towers, a feeling his heart echoes.

“There is still such a profound sense of disbelief,” he said. “Such an empty feeling. There are still times when I want to call Michael and talk to him or share something. It is such a lonely feeling, almost like being out in a desert.”

Gibson has two divergent perspectives on the events of Sept. 11, one as a minister and the other as a military man, a major in the Maine Army National Guard.

“Because of my military background, I have an idea of how dangerous it is right now. Do we attack [Iraq] and prevent a biological attack, or do we attack and cause a biological attack? In any future war, the enlisted soldier like me is not on the front lines anymore. It is going to be the medical person, the EMTs, doctors. We are not fighting nations anymore, ideologies are fighting us.”

Gibson said, “A lot of people have ignored that nearly every single place that we have fought in the past 25 years has been in defense of Muslim nations – Kuwait, Albanians in Kosovo, factions in Afghanistan. And yet the Muslims hate us.”

Hate and love are two emotions that Gibson deals with daily as a minister. The love of Americans for each other is what Gibson hopes is the 9-11 legacy. “I do believe in the average person,” he said. “9-11, as horrible as it was, showed Americans at their best.”

And when the anniversary of his best friend’s death rolls around, Gibson said he would sit down and write a letter to Simon’s family and “probably say a simple prayer, a prayer in the quietness of the presence of God.”