EXIT 200-WHAT?

Maine Turnpike Authority crews were busy last week, rearranging the mile markers along the toll road. The Maine Department of Transportation already has done this work on I-95. The result of all this effort will be that the 400 or so numbers on those little green signs henceforth will be correct.

If that were the end of it, this would merely be a small waste of man-hours to appease nitpickers. Even if off by anywhere from 1.9 to six miles, the old markers served their purpose of directing tow trucks, ambulances and other emergency responders. Apparently, there are people who double-check the accuracy of these markers against their odometers and they seem to be the kind of people who complain.

This is not the end of it, and that’s where the real complaining should start. In 2004, thanks to one of the more pointless acts of the Legislature last spring, the exit signs also will be changed. Instead of being numbered in sequence (that is, Exit 1 is followed by Exit 2), they will be numbered according to mileage. This numbering will start at Maine’s southern border (like everything else in Maine) and work its way upward as it proceeds north.

What is now a relatively welcoming Exit 47 in Bangor will become the fairly off-putting Exit 183. Houlton, where I-95 begins, will be Exit 299 – the only thing less appealing to the traveler or the prospective business locator would be to give the distance in light-years. This may seem like nitpicking in itself, but northern Maine has years of experience suffering from its geography; anything that makes it seem more remote is not helpful.

The Maine Turnpike Authority and the Maine Department of Transportation say this will eliminate widespread confusion. Since such confusion is not especially evident, the only thing that can be said with certitude is that the work will eliminate $661,000 of taxpayers’ money.

That’s not all. The designations of the turnpike and I-95 will be changed, with concocted confusion the reason. Now, the turnpike is designated I-95 from Kittery to Portland, where (according to the authority press release) it “mysteriously” turns into I-495 from Falmouth to Hogwarts, oops, Augusta. I-295 goes through South and Regular Portland, then “suddenly” transmogrifies into I-95. The only known counterspell is to make the Turnpike I-95 all the way and make all the leftover bits I-295. I-495 will vanish into thin air.

Back to the cost. That $661,000 (90 percent federal money, 10 percent state) can be used for other purposes, provided they are to improve the interstate. If MDOT can find no other improvements to the interstate more needed than renumbering exits for no apparent reason, perhaps interstate users could think of a few. And, there is no calculation of the cost to the private sector. Business cards, stationery, brochures, the paint jobs on delivery trucks – anything that tells the public where a particular good or service can be found – will have to be changed.

What needs to be changed is the law that mandates this. It was passed before the state’s budget crisis was known, a time when $661,000 was peanuts. Now, it happens to be one one-thousandth of the budget gap the next Legislature and governor will have to close. Use it for some other necessary interstate project. Save that money, repeat 1,000 times and balance the budget. Save businesses along the turnpike and the interstate an utterly unproductive expense. Save towns in northern Maine the embarrassment of having to convince prospective newcomers – residents and businesses – that being at Exit 200-and-something isn’t as bad as it sounds.