When the topic of preplanning funeral arrangements was suggested to me, I wasn’t sure I wanted to tackle it. But the information is certainly important, and talking to friends who are confronting the issue has convinced me that making these plans can provide a measure of relief.

The subject is personal to me because I have a very close friend whose spouse is dying of cancer. While considering doing the column, I recalled a conversation with Jane a few months ago, shortly after the terminal diagnosis. She explained to me how she and Ted had gone to the funeral home together and had preplanned and prepaid for everything.

She admitted that, though emotional, it was the best thing they could have done – and that for the first time in a week she had gotten a full night’s sleep. The memory of that discussion convinced me to write the column.

“At this point, all I have to do when the time comes is make a phone call,” said Jane. “It is a relief to know that financially it is taken care of, and that I won’t have to do this while in a grief-stricken state. One of the best things about it is knowing that Ted is getting the funeral he would like to have. His wishes are being met and he has peace of mind knowing that I won’t have to deal with this at the end.”

These are the best reasons for pre-planning, said Frank Foley, president of Foley Funeral Service in Bangor.

“There are many choices to make for funerals, and pre-planning is advantageous because all the choices can be made ahead of time, when you have time to think,” he said. “And pre-planning can be everything from a few of notes on a slip of paper to having every minute detail arranged, right down to the hairstyle of the deceased.”

Foley emphasized that one can pre-plan a funeral without pre-paying. It is important to note that federal law dictates that an itemized price list be available to all customers.

There are two financial options for pre-paying. One may use a guaranteed price mortuary trust, or a credit for service mortuary trust.

A guaranteed price mortuary trust works in conjunction with pre-planning. All funeral decisions are made, such as burial or cremation, calling hours, casket or urn type, location of service, and so on.

Then the funeral is paid for at current prices. The money is put in trust for the funeral home to use when needed. The money earns interest while in trust, which helps cover any price changes. Regardless of inflation, prices are fixed at the rate charged on the day the agreement was signed.

The credit for service mortuary trust requires personal information of the beneficiary, but not necessarily the details of complete pre-planning. It basically involves putting money aside, in trust, to be used for funeral expanses when the time comes. Occasionally, the trust funds exceed the price of the funeral. A refund is made to the deceased’s estate at that time.

“Sometimes a person’s financial picture is about to change,” said Foley. “They may be selling their house and going into an assisted living or nursing facility. They want to make sure that the burden of a funeral does not rest solely on the survivors, so they will put something aside in case their money runs out.”

Maine does not allow the sale of funeral insurance by funeral directors, but a policy can be purchased through an insurance company. If someone has one of these policies, the funeral home may be designated as the beneficiary.

Funerals can be expensive, but often what is gained cannot be measured in dollars.

“Aside from occasional criticisms about the cost, most people see the value in a proper funeral,” said Foley. “It provides closure and addresses the value of the life of the person, especially spiritual services – because it incorporates the beliefs they held. And we quite often get nice thank-you notes on the service we provided. One lady, in particular, thanked us for making a hard situation a little easier.”

That’s worth all the money in the world.

Carol Higgins is director of communications at Eastern Agency on Aging. For information on EAA programs or services, call the resource and referral department at 941-2865 or log on www.eaaa.org.