I have scraped, primed, painted, reshingled a roof, climbed tall ladders, nailed, torn down, built up, translated in a medical clinic, helped teach children, and mixed concrete by hand.

I have been to upstate New York, Honduras and Eastport, to practice Christianity through service.

But above all of these things, I have begun my faith journey.

Now, as a high school senior and member of All Souls Congregational Church in Bangor, I have the opportunity to participate in my fourth mission trip, a return to Honduras next summer.

I am just as excited about the next trip as my first. Each has been intense and filled with new experiences.

For a child, faith tends to be a passive activity. For a teenager, All Souls provides ways for mature youth to explore their faith actively.

I am a regular in the All Souls high school class. Every Sunday something special is happening round the circle of 20 to 30 students. No matter if one is there by choice or not, everyone gets the same feeling: We are safe here. In a scary and hectic world, it is nice to know that there is a place of complete acceptance with its door wide open.

But this is only 45 minutes of our week. How can this safe feeling be duplicated so we can cultivate our Christian ideals? Though I’d like to say that I revisit the concepts daily, I can’t say that I do.

For those 45 minutes I am engrossed in the topic. But as the week progresses, my mind goes further into a state of chaos. I have homework, college applications, rehearsals, friends to call, laundry to do, oil to change, and sleep to get.

How can I make time for God when he’s not written into my schedule? I need to escape the daily grind to see him, to take time to explore his role in my life away from the routine of school and church.

Mission trips are exactly that: the time and distance from the everyday world that is so necessary. The physical labor we do may be tiring on our muscles but our souls are strengthened. I am not saying that to find God it is necessary to run away from Bangor forever! By removing yourself from the trivial distractions of your life, it is easier sometimes to see what is important and to listen to God’s whispers.

You learn how to apply teachings of love, patience, forgiveness and kindness because you are in a community that depends on one other. You have to trust the person who holds the teetery ladder. You must forgive the person who dropped all the nails because you may spill the paint tomorrow.

Compassion and thoughtfulness become habits. These habits are turned into characteristics and are now usable in the everyday back home. My faith has been strengthened because I see that a caring, God-loving community is possible. I know that I am not alone. I walk down the hall and see a fellow mission trip kid, and a single smile reminds me that God is here among us all.

My faith has also been strengthened because I have learned that we are all the tools of God. We have built homes and distributed medicine. But we are not only tools of labor, but of love. I have learned that God is not interested in the quantity of homes we build but in the loving hands that laid the bricks.

Yes, we do accomplish many good things: A dry roof over a family is a blessing to give as well as receive. But these things do not last forever. It is the love that is passed from person to person that lasts. It is the feeling that God is here for us that lasts. I do not need to rebuild my neighbor’s house to be a good Christian. It takes little strength to do one big task. But it takes thought and willpower to continually do the little things, saying ‘hi’ to the new kid or giving a teacher encouragement.

Faith is a hard and exciting journey. Frustration and doubt are not uncommon in the quest for God, but that means you are just more willing to explore spirituality. They say that the more you learn, the more questions you have. I know that my faith journey, especially through my mission experiences, has left me with so many unanswered questions. But that does not faze me. I want answers and desire to learn more about a way of life that has brought me so much joy.

Katie Dawson, 17, is a senior at Bangor High School. She plans to return to Honduras with the All Souls group June 15-24, 2003. The youth involved in the trip will hold of a yard sale from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. Saturday, Oct. 19, and from noon to 5 p.m. Sunday, Oct. 20, at the Union Street Brick Church (formerly the Unitarian Church), corner of Main and Union streets, Bangor.