In theaters

THE SANTA CLAUSE 2, directed by Michael Lembeck, written by Don Rhymer, Ken Daurio, Ed Decter, Cinco Paul and John J. Strauss, 95 minutes, rated G.

Michael Lembeck’s little lump of coal, “The Santa Clause 2,” breaks every child labor law known to man, or at least seems to, as it begins with a sweeping shot of Santa’s sweatshop – excuse me, his workshop – in which scores of elves, all played by young children, are slavishly hammering away on the sort of wooden toys few tots play with today.

This is one of those scenes that could have been punched with an unexpected gag designed to appeal to adults – you know, such as a cameo by Kathy Lee Gifford barking at the pointy-eared darlings and urging them to work harder, faster, longer.

The children in attendance might not get the joke, but the adults definitely would, and it would have given them something to enjoy while their toddlers ogled Tony Burrough’s splendid, Gaudi-inspired set design – and perhaps even paused to reflect on the quality of their own behavior in 2002.

Unfortunately, the film never comes through with such moments. Unlike “Shrek” and “Monsters, Inc.,” two examples of children’s films that struck a perfect balance between what works for children and what works for adults, “The Santa Clause 2” plays it mostly straight and is never so bold. Too much of it plays out like an uninspired jumble of holiday cheer, little of which recalls the comparatively clever moments that defined its predecessor, 1994’s “The Santa Clause.”

Back in the fat suit as Santa is Tim Allen, who, this time out, finds himself stuck in a ho-hum plot that forces Santa to snag a wife before Christmas day. Barbaric, yes, but if Santa doesn’t find a Mrs., he’ll cease being Santa and children around the world will go without their gifts come Christmas morning.

Working with two elves, Curtis (Spencer Breslin) and Bernard (David Krumholtz), Santa – whom the first film revealed is really just a divorced dad named Scott – returns home, where his troubled teenage son, Charlie (Eric Lloyd), is conveniently at odds with his principal, Carol (Elizabeth Mitchell), a single, gorgeous blond with an attitude problem and, in spite of her name, zip for holiday cheer.

Before you can say “Santa has a playmate,” Curtis and Bernard have unleashed an animatronic Santa Claus at the North Pole to take over toy production in Santa’s absence – which is just what he does with disastrous results when the evil robot, also played by Allen, creates a dictatorship.

In spite of featuring a script credited to five writers, apparently nobody here bothered to check it twice; occasionally the movie does offer a few chuckles and one smart, nostalgic scene that showcases the toys many 30- and 40-somethings played with in their youths, but mostly it lacks the elements of surprise, mischief and wit that could have made it a winner.

Grade: C-

On video and DVD

DIVINE SECRETS OF THE YA-YA SISTERHOOD, directed by Callie Khouri, written by Khouri and Mark Andrus, 117 minutes, rated PG-13.

Callie Khouri’s “The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood” is everything it sets out to be and more – so much more – a film about a group of hard-drinking, hard-living, oxygen-tank-sucking, cigarette-smoking, sexagenarian Southern belles who are somehow lovable in spite of being borderline certifiable.

The film’s only oversight seems to be that estrogen wasn’t listed among the producers. It stars Sandra Bullock as Sidda Lee Walker, a young New York playwright on the verge of realizing her first Broadway hit when she upsets the balance of her universe by stupidly dissing her mother in an interview with Time magazine.

Sidda’s mother, Vivi (Ellen Burstyn), you see, isn’t just any mother. She’s Hollywood’s idea of a Southern mother, which means that her backbone and temperament are more the stuff of steel than magnolia.

While Vivi doesn’t have snakes writhing in her carefully coifed hair, she does have a split tongue and a mean mouth, which frequently gets her into trouble and eventually causes a major rift between she and Sidda as the movie opens.

Calling for an intervention, Vivi’s blood sisters, Caro (Maggie Smith), Teensy (Fionnula Flanagan) and Necie (Shirley Knight) – all bound to Vivi by a childhood oath – literally drug Sidda and steal her away to the swamps of Louisiana, where they ply her with booze, fill her in on why her mother is so controlling – and why Vivi is nevertheless deserving of Sidda’s love.

With James Garner as Vivi’s husband and Ashley Judd as the young Vivi, “The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood” sustains its hysterical mood and turns it into a badge of honor, which, as these things go, isn’t just the point – but the exclamation point in its characters’ lives.

Grade: B+

Christopher Smith is the Bangor Daily News film critic. His reviews appear Mondays and Fridays in Style, Tuesdays on “NEWS CENTER at 5” and Thursdays on “NEWS CENTER at 5:30” on WLBZ-2 and WCSH-6. He can be reached at BDNFilm1@aol.com.

Renting a video or a DVD? NEWS film critic Christopher Smith can help. Below are his grades of recent releases in video stores, starting alphabetically with the most current releases.

The Dangerous Lives of Altar Boys ? B-

The Powerpuff Girls Movie ? B

Pumpkin? C+

The Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood ? B+

Eight Legged Freaks ? B

Spider-Man ? A-

Sum of All Fears ? D

E.T.: 20th Anniversary Edition ? A

Mr. Deeds ? D

Insomnia ? A

Life or Something Like It ? B-

Scooby-Doo ? C-

Windtalkers ? C-

Big Trouble ? D

Enough ? C-

Jason X ? Bomb

Brotherhood of the Wolf ? B

The Scorpion King ? B

Enigma ? C

Monsoon Wedding ? A-

Murder by Numbers ? C

Death to Smoochy ? B+

40 Days and 40 Nights ? C-

Monsters, Inc. ? A-

Panic Room ? B

Changing Lanes ? B

Count of Monte Cristo ? B+

Frailty ? C-

Blade II ? B+

High Crimes ? C

Queen of the Damned ? C-

Iris ? B

Joe Somebody ? D

The Rookie ? A-

The Sweetest Thing ? D+

We Were Soldiers ? B+

Birthday Girl ? B

The Business of Strangers ? B

Clockstoppers ? C

In the Bedroom ? A

The New Guy ? D

Showtime ? C+

Deuces Wild ? D-

Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring ? B+

Collateral Damage ? D

Dragonfly ? D

Resident Evil ? C-

Crossroads ? C-

Kung Pow: Enter the Fist: B-

The Time Machine ? D-

Amelie ? A

John Q. ? C-

Pinero ? B

Charlotte Gray ? B+

Hart’s War ? B

The Royal Tenenbaums ? B+

Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius ? B+

Shallow Hal ? C

A Beautiful Mind ? B

Gosford Park ? B+

I Am Sam ? C

The Majestic ? D-

Max Keeble’s Big Move ? B