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DIE ANOTHER DAY. Directed by Lee Tamahori, written by Neal Purvis and Robert Wade, 123 minutes, rated PG-13.
The one line that pops off the screen in Lee Tamahori’s new James Bond film, “Die Another Day,” isn’t one of Bond’s infamous sexual innuendoes but a shrewd observation by M (Judi Dench).
In a throwaway comment that detonates onscreen like a bomb, M unwittingly sums up the new challenges facing Bond as he marks the new millennium with his 20th film in 40 years: “You’re of no use to anyone anymore,” she says.
“While you were away, the world changed.”
Indeed, it has.
Bond, again played by a very game Pierce Brosnan, replies as coolly as you’d expect – he “hardly noticed.”
But MGM, the series’ longtime studio, has definitely noticed and taken measures to ensure that its franchise continues its lucrative run, backing “Day” with a $100-plus million budget – the largest in Bond history – and an Academy Award-winning actress as the new Bond girl, Jinx (Halle Berry).
On the surface, things certainly look swell, at least for MGM’s marketing department. It has been given the gift of Berry in a bikini, invisible cars and exotic locales, all the gadgets and explosions an action fan could want – and a smash-hit theme song by Madonna, who’s featured in a cameo.
But for die-hard Bond fans, those who remember saying yes to “Dr. No,” the reality of “Die Another Day” is something all together different from what its hype suggests.
Whether it’s because the series’ thunder has been stolen by years of imitators and parodies – “XXX,” “The Bourne Identity,” “Austin Powers in Goldmember,” “I Spy” and “Undercover Brother” all hit theaters this year alone – or because the film’s soggy script barely finds a pulse until the last 40 minutes, “Die Another Day” too often feels as if it’s about to die that very day.
It doesn’t break any new ground. Instead of leading the pack, as it has done for four decades – and instead of igniting the genre with fresh twists, as it should have done – the movie plays it too safe and is too long-winded. The midsection alone is among the dullest, most uneventful of the entire Bond lot.
The film, from a script by Neal Purvis and Robert Wade, opens on the North Korean coast with Bond riding a surfboard atop a towering wave. Along with two fellow agents, he lands on shore and immediately launches into action – all in an effort to put the screws to some shady North Koreans planning an illegal diamond deal.
Surprisingly, Bond fails his mission and is quickly locked away in a North Korean prison. When a disgruntled M and company finally spring him free 14 months later – amazingly, the film is too lazy to offer him (and us) the cunning escape we expect – he looks like a cross between James Caviezel in “The Count of Monte Cristo” and Tom Hanks in “Cast Away,” a nice setup that allows for a rather dramatic Bond makeover.
Indeed, after a shower and a shave, Bond is back in a tux and off globe-trotting, determined to find the two men who foiled him in North Korea – the mad billionaire Gustav Graves (Toby Stephens), who wants to take over the world by harnessing the sun’s energy (never seen that before) and his henchman Zao (Rick Yune), a man whose last encounter with Bond left him with diamonds embedded in his face.
As Bond villains go, these two have the necessary toys – an Icelandic compound that looks as if it were built for the set of “Superman,” a fleet of hovercrafts that spark the opening chase scene and laser thingamajigs galore – but what they lack is just what they need most: a personality.
Thankfully, the film finds just that in John Cleese’s Q, who gets most of the film’s laughs in a brief yet fun exchange with Bond. Also strong are a sword fight between Graves and Bond, which is blissfully free of computer animation, and the film’s terrific final 40 minutes, which pick up the pace considerably as Graves and Zao butt heads with Bond and Jinx.
Madonna’s overhyped cameo is an utter waste, never as loose or as engaging as the video based on her theme song, “Die Another Day,” as she seems to think that just showing up in a leather bustier is enough, which it isn’t.
Still, Rosamund Pike as Bond’s partner, Miranda Frost, does add some necessary bite. It’s she – not Berry as Jinx – who has the best chemistry with Bond, though it’s Berry, not Pike, who is rumored to get the first-ever Bond-girl spinoff.
And that, folks, is what an Academy Award will do for you.
Grade: C+
Christopher Smith is the Bangor Daily News film critic. His reviews appear Mondays and Fridays in Style, Tuesdays and Thursdays on WCSH 6 and WLBZ 2, and are archived on RottenTomatoes.com. He can be reached at BDNFilm1@aol.com.
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