Moderation advised for this holiday season Experts say stress results from trying to do it all

Mainers are shopping til they drop.

They’re attending parties and family gatherings. They’re decorating their homes. They’re stressed-out by the endless holiday commitments, and Anne Marie Mullins from St. Mary’s Regional Medical Center in Lewiston has a simple suggestion for bringing things down a notch: Just say no.

“Stop trying to do everything, the whole shebang,” said Mullins, a program coordinator at the hospital who often speaks at seminars and area businesses about stress.

It’s no wonder that what’s supposed to be a joyous occasion in many religious denominations turns into a chaotic time.

Some get stressed from the pressure to shop and spend when they don’t have the money. Some get anxious about sticking to a diet or staying sober when faced with holiday parties. Others get stressed about trying to make everything perfect, from Christmas decorations to hors d’oeuvres to gift wrapping.

“It’s trying to fit more in to the same amount of time,” said Tammy Begin-LeBlanc, yoga instructor and owner of the Yoga Center of Maine in Auburn. “A lot of times we lose the true meaning of the season.”

At best, experts say, such stress can make people irritable. At worse, it can cause headaches and stomachaches and lead to other illnesses.

Joan Churchill, director of family services for Community Concepts, said she has seen the pressure to shop and spend become a big part of holiday stress.

“People who have limited incomes definitely feel the pinch,” Churchill said. “That is stressful to people.” She suggested that parents avoid stress by taking advantage of free or cheap activities, such as making their own holiday decorations or touring homes brightened with holiday lights.

For families with small children who want everything they see on TV commercials, she proposes limiting holiday programming to prerecorded tapes or to those recorded by the VCR. “Then turn off the TV,” she said.

“Christmas can be hard for parents if they’ve bought into [the falsehood that] a toy is going to make their child happy,” she said.

Melania Turgelsky, program coordinator for the Community Counseling Center in Portland, said even children sometimes can get stressed during the holidays, especially if divorced parents spend the season arguing.

“Parents need to put their kids’ needs first, not their own,” Turgelsky said.

Sometimes, stress is unavoidable.

In addition to turning things down a notch, Mullins said, families could share the duties to make sure no single person is saddled with all of the decorating, shopping, baking and party preparation.

She also suggests trying to stay positive, even when facing a get-together with a family member who’s always negative. “Make up your mind that you’re going to stay away from that,” she said.

At the yoga center, Begin-LeBlanc tells stressed-out people to tailor their activities to their energy level. And remember to breathe.

Dennis Kamholtz, a health education professor at the University of Maine at Farmington, said people just need to take a break from hectic activities and do something they enjoy.

People need to give themselves a license to step away. Said Kamholtz, “It’s really called survival.”