Coaches need to treat all players equally

With the high school winter sports season just begun, I find myself reflecting back on last year’s winter season. Because of a coach’s conduct last year, my athlete is not playing this year. It’s a huge loss to my child, and a loss to the team. While it’s too late to change that, it’s not too late for other players, and for future years.

Sports, when handled in a constructive manner, can teach our athletes skills that will stand them in good stead later in life: that dedication and hard work pay off, that following the rules is important to being successful, that by working together the group is more powerful than the sum of the individuals, and that everyone deserves to be treated with respect.

Unfortunately, sports can also teach athletes that it’s OK to do whatever we can get away with to get to the top, and that winning is everything. What do we want our coaches teaching our athletes?

If I were in charge, coaches would follow these rules:

1. Coaches would consider all of their actions in light of the rule: “First, do not harm.”

2. Coaches would enforce all rules in an equitable manner, not randomly or on the basis of a player’s perceived value to the team. Preferential treatment to the same players on a regular basis supports an attitude by those players that they are more important, and this is not conducive to instilling in athletes the importance of playing as a team.

3. Coaches would treat all players with equal respect. Players at the high school level still need limited amounts of constructive criticism and lots of positive reinforcement. They do not need sarcasm, destructive comments, or verbal abuse, especially in front of other players, parents and fans.

4. Coaches would control their own behavior. Intensity is OK when it shows commitment to the game and the players. When a coach loses his temper, throwing or breaking things, it tells the players that it’s OK for them to act the same way.

5. Coaches would keep an open mind about player’s abilities and potential, and encourage all players to improve. When a coach prejudges a player, he denies that player the opportunity to achieve his or her highest potential by taking away the motivation to grow, to work hard to develop new or improve existing skills and abilities.

6. Coaches would promote and reward good sportsmanship in his players. Conversely, profanity, rude comments, excessive roughness, and plain old bad manners would result in a reprimand, not the approval implied in “I like your attitude!”

7. Coaches would remember that players have rights, too:

. The right to make mistakes.

. The right to speak up for themselves in a respectful manner when they feel they are being unfairly treated.

. The right to ask for and receive help in developing their skills. Just because no one has taught them how to do something, or because they learn in a different way, doesn’t mean they can’t master a skill.

. The right to know that it is OK to lose: Even when you worked hard in practice, you came to the game physically and mentally prepared to give your best efforts, and you know when it’s over that you’ve done your best, it’s still possible that the other team is better, or luckier. We need to teach our players to be gracious, whether they win or lose.

8. Coaches would learn to keep everything in perspective. It may be varsity basketball at the high school level, but it’s still just a game.

Parents, please make the effort to know your school’s athletic code. Make sure it is age-appropriate, and be observant as to whether or not it is enforced, across the board and regardless or personal preferences.

Be aware that the coach may have an unwritten personal “code” that is not in agreement. Speak out when you see a coach mistreat an athlete, yours or someone else’s. Let the school administration know when you’re unhappy about a coach’s actions. Be proactive. The only way to change a bad situation is to speak up. One voice wasn’t heard, but several together will be.

I’m the proud parent of a former Brewer High School athlete.

Lynne Eason

Brewer