YMCA group adopts family for Christmas

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BANGOR – The Darby family has had more anguish in their lives than most families endure in a lifetime. But thanks to generosity inspired by a group of young Bangor area leaders, this Christmas will be a little merrier.

Six years ago, 30-year-old Shawn Darby was diagnosed with Crohn’s Disease, a chronic and progressive inflammation of the colon, and ulcerative colitis.

His right kidney has been removed, along with the majority of his large intestine and rectum. Illness forced Shawn to quit school, and he is not able to work.

But the Milford family’s troubles don’t end there. Shawn and Melissa Darby’s youngest son, 9-year-old Collin, was diagnosed with an extremely rare sinus disease a year ago. Trips to Boston Children’s Hospital and Yale-New Haven Hospital in Connecticut have become almost routine for Melissa.

She takes Collin to doctors’ appointments by herself because Shawn is too ill to travel. While she is gone, family and friends take care of the couple’s other children, Cameron, 11, and Ciara, 5.

But, despite the many physical ailments and the emotional and financial stresses they create, the Darbys still have hope, thanks to people like Courtney Collins, youth and family director at the Bangor YMCA. Collins helps oversee the Y’s Interact Leaders Club.

The club is a community service group of teenagers from Greater Bangor, coordinated by Ruth Grondin and representing a collaboration between the Bangor YMCA and the Bangor Area Breakfast Rotary.

With nearly 40 members, it provides the opportunity for youths to develop an understanding of community service, volunteerism and international awareness in a fun environment.

Each of the club members individually completes eight volunteer hours in the community per month, as well as group projects. Projects completed this year include a car wash with all donations going to the United Way, the creation of holiday gift baskets in conjunction with the Salvation Army, and a Manna Ministries food drive.

The group has adopted the Darby family for Christmas and will be providing them with some much-needed cheer and necessary items for the holidays.

Collins met the Darby family last year when Cameron attended the YMCA’s Camp Mission Impossible. Collins’ father has Crohn’s Disease, too, and she was able to relate to Cameron on a more personal level, she said.

“[Cameron] is such an honest and wonderful young man. And so are Collin and Ciara,” Collins said. “It’s a testament to what Shawn and Melissa have done through love.”

Collins arranged a special present for Cameron, who dreams of one day playing football for the University of Maine and being drafted by the NFL.

Cameron, his mother, and Collins met with UM football players Ron and Ryan Waller and members of the Black Bear coaching staff Monday for a tour of the locker room, practice area and weight room.

The Wallers, twin brothers from Chester, Va., said that Cameron knew more about football and the NFL than either of them did.

“You could tell he had a good time,” Ron Waller said Wednesday. “He was all excited. It was nice, it was fun to do.”

After acting as tour guides, the two college students gave Cameron UM football paraphernalia that they had signed.

“I was just glad to be a part of it,” Ryan Waller said. “Small stuff really counts.”

Melissa explained that, since her husband and son became ill, the family has accumulated almost $70,000 in debt. The bills include school loans, past due rent, electric and telephone bills, as well as some credit card debt.

Though the family started off on welfare 11 years ago, Melissa worked hard and got them out of the system. She works 50-60 hours a week at OHI, a local facility that cares for the elderly and those with mental health issues. The job is in addition to taking care of her husband, transporting all three children to and from after-school activities, and running the household.

“Sleeping? What’s that?” Melissa said jokingly. “My mind runs 24-7.”

The family has a difficult time making ends meet, and when Melissa swallowed her pride and went back to apply for welfare, she was told she makes 35 cents too much an hour for the family to qualify.

“It’s either or,” Melissa said. “Either I pay my rent or I feed them.”

In an effort to ease the family’s financial problems, Melissa has helped her husband apply for disability twice. They have been denied once, and have no idea when they will hear about the second request.

“If I wrote a book from day one to now, they’d just put it down because they’d think I was lying,” Melissa said about her life. “We all five have been through it all.”

Despite it all, Melissa is thankful for what the family does have. She credits family and friends, the Orrington Calvary Church and the YMCA for keeping her family going.

“It could be much worse,” Melissa said. “We could all have given up by now.”

Luckily they haven’t, and with a little help, things will be better for Christmas.

“People like the Darby family deserve to have a happy holiday,” Collins said.

To make a donation for the Darby family, contact Courtney Collins at the Bangor YMCA, 941-285 or Bangor YMCA, c/o Darby family, 127 Hammond St., Bangor 04401.