I have a sawbuck that says LeBron James’ eligibility will suddenly be returned to him and fast.

The reason? Money, of course.

James makes beaucoup bucks for the Ohio version of the Maine Principals’ Association.

Example: A 15,000-seat arena is sold out for a high school game in Ohio next week involving James’ team.

Example: The Ohio state high school basketball tournament is coming up soon. That’s megabucks.

The uproar over James accepting $800 worth of collectible jerseys is kinda ridiculous to begin with, isn’t it?

Obviously, the 18-year-old has much to learn about ill-gotten booty. First of all, you don’t announce it after making the deal.

I know Dicky V and the boys are just gushing over the kid. But he doesn’t need to let the media know what he’s doing each minute of the day. He doesn’t need to hand out a daily itinerary to the media.

6:30 – get up

6:31 – use bathroom

6:50 – eat Frosted Flakes with 2 percent milk

7:12 – depart crib

7:20 – park Hummer in handicapped parking space at school

8:10 – skip shop class, get Hummer’s oil changed at Jiffy Lube

8:45 – stop by lawyer’s office and talk about T-bills purchase.

9:30 – stop by Krispy Kreme, get some

10:00 – go by card shop, pick up jerseys, sign something for store owner to hang on his wall …

Obviously, the kid needs to keep such criminal activity quiet. He shouldn’t tell the world that someone gave him something in return for his signature on a picture that now hangs on the establishment’s wall.

It’s obvious the kid isn’t ready for the pro game just yet. He needs to go to college to learn how to deal with all of the free stuff college athletes get on the sly.

He should attend FSU, or, as former Florida football coach Steve Spurrier used to call it, “Free Shoes U.”

While there he could attend the Peter Warrick School of Business.

There he could learn the art of picking out some nice clothes and taking them to some nice cashier who not only doesn’t charge him for the items, but will give him change as well.

Then he could swing by the Foot Locker for some free Chucks.

What am I talking about? He doesn’t need free shoes. He’ll have a deal with a shoe company shortly. And that’s no knock on the kid. He has what corporate America wants. Talent enough to sell shoes by simply putting his name on them.

So, who can blame the kid if he got caught up in the planes flying his team around the country to play games? Or the limousines waiting to take him to his hotel suite. The stars coming out to watch him play. Or the Hummer. Or the jewelry.

Who can blame him? And who could blame him for trading his signatures for a couple of jerseys?

Of course, he’ll return the jerseys and of course, the whozits in charge of Ohio will welcome him back.

Cha ching.

Don Perryman can be reached at 990-8045, 1-800-310-8600 or dperryman@bangordailynews.net.