Affleck’s ‘Daredevil’ a third-rate superhero tale

In theaters

DAREDEVIL, written and directed by Mark Steven Johnson, 96 minutes, rated PG-13.

The first time we see Ben Affleck as Daredevil, he’s high atop a church in Manhattan, looking beaten, bruised and woozy in the sort of ill-fitting, lipstick-red leather bondage gear you’d expect to find on a cross-dresser – or Lil’ Kim, for that matter – and you can’t help thinking that J.Lo has really gone and done it this time. Just look at what she’s done to this one.

Clutching a giant cross for dear life, Affleck eventually faints and falls backward, collapsing through the church’s curiously unstable roof and landing in a puff of dust next to a statue of the Madonna, who, it must be said, doesn’t offer much comfort.

And why should she? That is, after all, Ben Affleck under that sluttish getup, and the performance he’s about to give is just as ruinous as the nuclear bomb that blew up Baltimore in his last movie, “The Sum of All Fears.”

“Daredevil” is not a devil do. However, as written and directed by Mark Steven Johnson, it is fair to say that it is devil doo-doo, easily the worst of the ongoing rush of superhero movies culled from the pages of Marvel Comics.

What it lacks is everything that made last summer’s superior “Spider-Man” such a smart pop hit. The script is the pits, the acting is third-rate, the characters are shallow, meaningless sticks and, worse, nobody here looks as if they’re having a good time, which is key.

As we learn in flashback, Daredevil, whose real name is Matt Murdoch, was born in Hell’s Kitchen and the cold dish he was served as a child was exactly the sort consumed by most geeks cum superheroes: He was bullied as a boy, he had an unhappy home life, and he eventually lost his eyesight in a freak radioactive accident that also, in the process, heightened his four remaining senses with superhuman heft.

Now essentially an elaborately festooned vigilante with a tricked-out cane, Daredevil must battle the mountainous crime boss Kingpin (Michael Clarke Duncan), who murdered his father, and the squirrelly Bullseye (Colin Farrell), who has a way with darts.

His love interest is Elektra Natchios (Jennifer Garner), a Greek-American heiress who has apparently spent a fair amount of her life overcompensating for a name that makes her sound, to quote the movie, like a spicy “Mexican appetizer.” She’s kind of scary, a blade-wielding, martial arts queen whose purpose seems to be to emasculate the world.

What the movie does have going for it – at least initially – are its special effects, which are strong and often creative, particularly as we learn how Daredevil “sees.” He does so through sound waves, which bounce off objects and project a holographic image in his mind. It’s a nice touch in a movie that doesn’t have enough of them.

Saddled with Affleck’s weak, breathy voice and his pouty bottom lip – the man doesn’t exactly scream brooding superhero – “Daredevil” is a generic, uninvolving wimp that feels like a dime store “Batman.” It’s true that it’s darker and more violent than most comic tales given the big-screen treatment, but it’s also true that the interlocked double D’s sewn into Daredevil’s costume might as well stand for “Dumb and Dumber.”

Grade: D

On video and DVD

ONE HOUR PHOTO, written and directed by Mark Romanek. 98 minutes. Rated R.

In Mark Romanek’s “One Hour Photo,” Robin Williams gives one of last year’s best performances as Sy Parrish, a lonely, troubled photo technician at a giant retailer reminiscent of Wal-Mart who is so good at concealing his desperation, you’d never expect he was anything more than the happy, beaming face on the opposite side of the photo counter, the man in the crisp blue apron who genuinely just wants to help.

A bit too much, it seems.

Indeed, for the Yorkins, an attractive, seemingly perfect family Sy has watched grow over the years through their scores of family photos, there doesn’t seem to be a limit to what he would do for them, particularly for Nina (Connie Nielsen) and her young son, Jake (Dylan Smith), who have formed something of a relationship with Sy.

Thus, for Sy, it’s like a left hook to the jaw when he learns that Nina’s husband, Will (Michael Vartan), is having an affair with another woman – and thus casually throwing away all that Sy wishes he himself had.

The ensuing madness ignites the film’s chilling undertone and punches it into a full-blown thriller, with Sy stealing a hunting knife and taking matters into his own hands.

What follows is a series of jolts and surprises nicely handled by Romanek and especially by Williams, who creates a character who earns our revulsion – and somehow also our sympathy.

Grade: A-

Christopher Smith is the Bangor Daily News film critic. His reviews appear Mondays and Fridays in Style, Tuesdays and Thursdays on WLBZ 2 and WCSH 6, and are archived on RottenTomatoes.com. He can be reached at BDNFilm1-@aol.com.