From professional pundits and to amateur wiseacres, everybody’s having a ball with the federal government’s new guidelines on how to prepare for and survive a terrorist attack. Comical images are conjured up of the panic-stricken American family fleeing for safety with a “grab and go” bag of disaster supplies that would strain a forklift. The instructions on how to decontaminate skin exposed to chemical or biological agents are snidely compared to the laundering directions for delicate washables. And who doesn’t get a chuckle out of duct tape?

A little black humor is understandable in these Orange Alert times; given the level of stress, it may even be helpful. Just so it doesn’t lead Americans to ignore good advice about things they can do for themselves that may save their lives. There’s a big difference between this advice and the old “duck and cover” drills of the Cold War.

The Federal Emergency Management Agency has long published preparation and survival materials on just about every imaginable natural and manmade disaster, from hurricanes, floods and tornadoes to chemical spills and nuclear power plant accidents. “Are You Ready – A Guide to Citizen Preparedness” is a compilation of those existing materials with new chapters added on attack by chemical, biological or radiological weapons. Being prepared with a packed kit of food, water, medicine, clothing and a little cash for several days in a shelter is a good idea regardless of whether the disaster is caused by a funnel cloud or a cloud of poison gas. Clearly, FEMA assumes that no sensible person is going to bother fetching that kit if the cloud has already cleared the neighbor’s fence.

Nearly every disaster has provided learning opportunities on how to better cope with the next one – the importance of having an evacuation plan and a meeting place for family members, of knowing the location of the nearest shelter, of learning CPR, even of making arrangements ahead of time, should circumstances permit, for the care of pets. People who work with toxic chemicals know how to remove a contaminated shirt – do you? As FEMA notes in the introduction to this guide, some of the greatest costs, financial and human, come from unpreparedness, rather than from the disaster itself.

About that duct tape. While it may seem absurd to think that that ubiquitous adhesive and some plastic sheeting could protect one from chemical or biological attack, that may in fact be the case. Scientists at the Oak Ridge National Laboratory reported in 2001, before the Sept. 11 attacks, that sealing off the window and doors a safe room in the house with just those materials could provide five or more hours of protection against a chemical agent – plenty of time for trained help to arrive. The American Red Cross has recommended their inclusion in emergency kits (industrial accidents and the like) for more than a decade and they are standard equipment in Israeli households since the Scud missile attacks by Iraq in the 1991 Gulf War. Besides, you can never have too much duct tape.