Life’s new trifecta: beer, coffee, sex

“Guinness is good for you,” is the traditional legend on Dublin buses and billboards.

Turns out that it is true, according to the Journal of Agriculture and Food Chemistry.

The news gets better.

The University of Calgary chimes in to tell us that having sex stimulates the growth of brain cells. Don’t forget the Karolinska Instituet in Sweden. The Swedes add that coffee can lower the risk of diabetes and gallstones.

Beer, coffee and sex: the new health foods.

Don’t you feel better already?

The beer study was conducted by Israeli researchers who concluded that, in comparing a daily single drink of beer to a daily drink of mineral water, the beer produced changes in blood chemistry associated with a reduced risk of heart attack. They didn’t include six-packs in the study.

In the study, 48 men with coronary artery disease ages 46 to 72 were divided into two groups, with 24 fortunate subjects getting a 12-ounce beer while the others got mineral water. In 21 of the 24 beer belchers, scientists found a decrease in “bad” cholesterol, an increase in “good” cholesterol, and a decrease in the levels and activity of fibrinogen, a protein that induces the blood to clot.

The Calgary study focused, for some reason, on the sex lives of mice. (Imagine telling your mother what you did in the lab after she ponied up $120,000 for a college education.)

It was discovered that prolactin, which surges after intercourse, stimulates the growth of new brain cells in the frontal regions of the brain. Prolactin, the Calgary mousers tell us, can double the number of brain cells up to 2,000 in a week.

It turns out that sex is good for you, too. (You might have figured that out on your own.) “Prolactin may be an interesting molecule to augment cell genesis when there are brain lesions or injuries,” according to Samuel Weiss, professor of cell biology and anatomy at UC. Would a professor lie to us?

Coffee drinking has been attacked by health-conscious types for decades. But let’s listen to Bertel Fredholm, a professor of pharmacology at the Karolinska Instituet, who has been at it for three decades. Yes, caffeine does contain some addictive properties and can trigger withdrawal symptoms, Bert admits.

But he also found, by studying some major Dutch coffee drinkers, those who gulp down seven cups of joe a day or more, that the risk of Type II diabetes was cut in half.

Nurses, like police officers, traditionally drink a lot of coffee to stay alert during long shifts. So Dr. Michael Leitzmann at the National Institutes of Health conducted a nurses health study, which found that “women who drink four cups of coffee a day were almost 30 percent less likely to develop gallstone illness.”

Turns out that coffee is good for you, too.

There are studies and then there are studies. Other experiments have shown that excessive coffee consumption can also raise blood pressure, weaken bones or, obviously, make you anxious.

I say do what you want, then find a study to support your favorite activity.

Somehow, somewhere, you can find a study to make your life easier.

I will keep looking.

Send complaints and compliments to Emmet Meara at emmetmeara@msn.com.