Working mothers deserve more credit

Recent articles have focused on the devastating effects of mothers who either choose or are forced to work outside the home. Being part of this targeted group of mothers, I am compelled to respond.

I have read over the last few months headlines reading, “Children in day care settings are more likely to be violent” and “Obese children, working mothers linked.” There is also criticism toward mothers who cannot or do not want to breastfeed, saying their children will suffer lifelong damage from their selfish desire to bottle-feed.

I worked while I was pregnant with my daughter. I made the decision to continue working after her birth having never had children or knowing how I would truly feel once she was in my arms. But I knew I wanted to work for personal as well as financial reasons. The day I had to get her ready to go out to the door into someone else’s care was one of the most difficult days of my life. As a loving mother, I felt I was the only person who could ever fully meet the needs of the precious life I was given to raise. But as the weeks passed, I saw how she responded to her new friends and the love she got from many people at her day care. Although it was difficult for me, I felt she was learning and growing from a whole new world.

Reputable, loving day cares, whether in the home or in larger settings, are not evil empires turning out violent, misbehaved, fat children. Daycare is another tool for parents to use in helping their children develop into well-rounded adults.

As for obesity, we buy groceries and make choices with the good health of our families in mind. I know many stay-at-home moms who love their children but don’t spend all day over a stove to prepare homemade food. Loving mothers, working outside the home or not, provide balanced nutritional meals for their children. Day cares are actually required to provide balanced meals. Loving mothers think of their children’s needs first and balance quiet time with active time to learn to have fun while staying fit.

I chose not to breastfeed my daughter. She has had no major illnesses or ear infections. She is in the average range for weight on the growth chart. She is intelligent and attached to me despite the fact that she did not get her nourishment from my body. She is equally attached to her father, because she didn’t need me exclusively.

Mothers know that every second we need to make good food, behavior, entertainment and physical activity choices for our children. As they grow into adolescence, we hope they have learned from the direction we have given.

There is a verse in Proverbs that says, “Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.” Give mothers of all varieties a little more credit, and stop labeling the children of working mothers defective.

Mothers should be revered and honored for the roles they play in society, whether we breastfeed or not, whether we are paid for work outside the home and whether we volunteer in our communities while staying at home with our children. All loving mothers share common threads that bind us together, regardless of our employment status. One is that our children remain our highest priority. Another is that in our eyes, our children are perfect despite the real or perceived flaws found in obscure studies.

Sharon Campbell-St. Peter, of Presque Isle, is the working mother of one daughter.