You can drink the wine. Go ahead, eat the cheese. Mingle in the dining room if you’d like. But by all means, do not step into Jo Carol Alford’s kitchen. Unless she asks, that is.

“In the South, a guest enters a host’s kitchen only when invited, so I was surprised when I hosted my first party in Maine and found my kitchen overrun with guests,” said Alford, a Mississippi native, Orono town councilor and founder of the Southern Supper Club, which meets once a month – or whenever the urge strikes.

Jo Carol moved to Orono six years ago to be with her new husband, Randy Alford, an entomology professor at the University of Maine. When she got here, she loved everything about the town. She quickly made friends with her neighbors and became active in the community.

Only one thing was missing: the Southern hospitality she had grown accustomed to. It’s not that her new friends weren’t hospitable – there was never a shortage of dinner parties or get-togethers to attend in Orono. But it wasn’t the same. People wore jeans. And held potlucks. And used paper napkins. She loved the casual atmosphere, but at the same time, she longed for a bit of formality.

Enter Daphne Kimler, Orono newcomer, wife of a local dentist, and most important, Tennessee native. Randy Alford had been at the dentist’s office one afternoon and, being a Southerner himself, detected a bit of a twang in Dr. David Kimler’s voice. They got talking, and the two discovered they had a lot in common.

“I could tell from his accent that he was someone like me,” Randy Alford said, laughing. “His wife was at home. My wife was at home. I came in from my appointment and told Jo Carol to give Daphne a call.”

“I went right to the phone, dialed that number, and we’ve been best friends ever since,” Jo Carol added.

The foursome started getting together with Randy’s old friend John Jemison, a UM water quality specialist and Memphis native, and his wife, Shelley, who hails from Palo Alto, Calif. They had so much fun that they decided to make it a monthly event.

“Shelley puts up with all our Southern traditions with great patience,” Jo Carol Alford said.

The traditions are many. During a recent gathering, the Alfords’ dining room table was covered with so much blue willow china and Waterford crystal that there didn’t seem to be enough room for the food. A Battenburg lace tablecloth served as the backdrop, and matching linen napkins sat beside each plate, pressed and starched.

“There are so many people who are minimalists,” Jo Carol said with a flourish. “I am a maximalist.”

The individual salt and pepper shakers were enough to drive away one guest at an earlier supper club meeting.

“Many non-Southerners have run quickly from this gathering,” Randy Alford said, smiling and holding a glass of red wine. “There are cultural differences that we tend to be very blunt about and that sends them running.”

The rules are clear and they are seldom broken. At Southern Supper Club, you don’t talk politics (though the war did creep in a few times during the last meeting). You don’t talk about religion and you don’t mention your in-laws. There is a dress code – women wear skirts and men wear dress shirts. When the group goes out for dinner, the men wear ties. Guests don’t do dishes, because that would require them to enter the kitchen, which is a no-no. And the drink of choice is red wine.

The wine is a constant, thanks, in part, to the Jemisons. Shelley’s parents are wine connoisseurs, and John is an expert on Italian reds. He just left for a sabbatical in Italy, where he plans to put his knowledge to good use. Jo Carol, on the other hand, is an expert in red wine removal. It’s a necessity with white tablecloths.

“Southern Supper Club is a special time and special Southern times require crisply starched and ironed white linens on the table,” Jo Carol said. “Tradition dictates no paper napkins. Stain removal, especially red wine stains, used to be a problem.”

Fortunately for Alford and her linens, she does invite non-Southerners over for dinner quite frequently. Her neighbor Peter Millard came over for dinner and brought his mother, who was visiting from England. Peter spilled a bit of red wine on the tablecloth and his mother told Jo Carol to pour boiling water over the spot, which has since saved Jo Carol money on stain removers and replacement tablecloths.

The Southern Supper Club isn’t always a white-tablecloth affair, however. The night before my visit, the Kimlers and the Alfords sat around the table eating ribs shipped in from the Rendezvous in Memphis. The napkins were actually a roll of paper towels and a handful of Wet-Naps. And the party favors were paper hats bearing the Rendezvous logo.

During my visit, the party favors were white Battenburg lace envelopes filled with hand-crocheted snowflakes, a nod to the lacy tablecloth. There was a theme to the meal as well – the hors d’oeuvre was a cheese spread topped with strawberry preserves, the salad was garnished with toasted pecans and fresh strawberries, and the rich, chocolate dessert was garnished with a fresh red strawberry as well.

“A Southerner would be remiss to host a party without a theme,” Jo Carol explained.

Even without the strawberries, the meal would’ve been a success. The wine flowed as Jo Carol served up creamy Spinach Madeleine, a squash souffle, and a spicy chicken breast with garlic-basil sauce. Long after the group finished their favorite dessert, a warm, brownielike pudding that they have dubbed “Chocolate Stuff,” the conversation stayed lively, jumping from Southern colleges to barbecue joints with names like Pocahontas and Skinny’s.

“Like true Southerners we talk our way from meal to meal,” Jo Carol said, smiling. “We just spread cheer.”

Cheese Dip with Strawberry Glaze

1 pound New York State sharp cheddar cheese, grated

2 green onions (scallions), very finely chopped

1 cup finely chopped pecans

1 cup mayonnaise

Crushed red pepper, to taste

Strawberry preserves

Crackers

Mix all ingredients except strawberry preserves and crackers. Form into a flattened mound. Cover with preserves. Surround with crackers to serve.

From “Favorite Recipes from Friends of Edith Patch”

Spinach Madeleine

Makes 6 servings

2 10-ounce boxes frozen chopped spinach

1/4 cup butter

2 teaspoons flour

2 tablespoons chopped onion

1/2 cup evaporated milk

1/2 teaspoon black pepper

1/2 teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes (or to taste)

3/4 teaspoon celery salt

3/4 teaspoon garlic salt

1/2 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce

6 ounces Mexican Velveeta, diced

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.

Cook spinach, reserving 1/2 cup liquid. Drain well and set aside. Melt butter in saucepan; add flour, stirring until blended. Add onion. Cook until transparent. Add milk and reserved liquid slowly, whisking constantly. Cook until smooth and thickened, stirring frequently. Add seasonings and cheese. Add spinach. Mix well.

Place mixture in a shallow baking dish or casserole. Bake at 350 degrees F for 25 minutes.

From “Favorite Recipes from Friends of Edith Patch”

Strawberry Green Salad

Makes 6 servings

10 cups torn green leaf lettuce

1 small red onion, very thinly sliced

1 pint strawberries, sliced

1 cup grated Monterey Jack cheese

1/4 cup to 1/2 cup toasted pecans

salt and pepper, to taste

Dressing:

1/2 cup olive oil

3/8 cup sugar

1/4 cup red wine vinegar

1/4 teaspoon black pepper

1/4 teaspoon paprika

2 cloves garlic, minced

Season pecans with salt and pepper and toast at 350 degrees F for 8 minutes.

Divide salad ingredients among 6 plates.

Whisk dressing ingredients until thoroughly blended. Dress salad just before serving.

Squash Souffle

Makes 8 servings

3 pounds yellow squash, sliced

1 stick butter or margarine

2 tablespoons flour

3 tablespoons sugar

2 teaspoons salt

1 teaspoon black pepper

1 large can evaporated milk

1/2 cup chopped green onions (scallions)

3 well-beaten eggs

Preheat oven to 425 degrees F.

Cook squash and drain. Add butter and stir until melted. Mix flour, sugar, salt and pepper. Add to squash and mix. Stir in milk, green onions and eggs until well blended. Pour into greased 9-by-13-inch baking dish. Bake at 425 degrees F until edges are well-browned, about 40 to 50 minutes. Serve hot.

Spiced Chicken with Garlic-Basil Sauce

Makes 6 servings

For chicken:

6 boneless, skinless chicken breast halves

1/2 cup packed dark brown sugar

1/4 cup chili powder

1 tablespoon salt

1 teaspoon black pepper

1 teaspoon paprika

1 teaspoon garlic powder

For Garlic-Basil Sauce:

2 cups chopped onion

1/4 cup canola oil

12 cloves garlic, minced

4 tablespoons brown sugar

2 tablespoons fresh minced parsley

1 teaspoon black pepper

1 teaspoon salt

1 tablespoon dried basil

1 cup white wine

1/2 cup white wine vinegar

1/2 cup salted butter

Arrange chicken in a greased baking dish. Mix remaining ingredients and pour over chicken, turning to coat. Cover and chill 8 to 24 hours. Allow to stand for 4 hour hours at room temperature.

While chicken is standing, prepare sauce. Saute onion in oil and stir in remaining sauce ingredients. Reduce heat and simmer 15 minutes. Remove from heat and let stand until oil rises to the top. Tilt pan, drain oil and reserve for basting.

Brush chicken breasts with reserved oil and bake at 350 degrees F for 30 minutes, basting twice. To serve, split the breasts almost in half and place split-side down on warmed plates. Spoon warm sauce over chicken.

Southern Fudge Pudding

Make 6 servings

2 eggs

1 cup sugar

1/2 cup flour

1/4 teaspoon salt.

1 stick salted butter

2 heaping tablespoons cocoa

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

6 strawberries

Preheat oven to 300 degrees F.

Beat eggs, sugar and flour together and add salt. Mix well and set aside.

In a medium saucepan, melt butter. Add cocoa and mix well. Combine mixtures and add vanilla. Mix and pour into a glass loaf pan. Set loaf pan into a larger pan of slightly warm water. Bake at exactly 300 degrees F for 65 minutes, or until tapped top seems a bit crunchy. Do not overcook. Serve immediately in footed dessert dishes and garnish with a fresh strawberry.