Recently, a friend was lamenting to me that her mother, after a doctor’s visit, was somewhat confused about his suggested course of action. I heard basically the same story from my hairstylist, whose mother also left her physician’s office with unasked questions and unclear directions.

My thoughts turned to my own mother who, on occasion, has answered my probing inquiries regarding her medical appointments with an “I don’t know. We didn’t talk about that.”

While some seniors are adept at voicing concerns, others are uncomfortable speaking up, or their specific questions are forgotten once they’re ushered into the exam room. And to challenge a doctor, in any way, would be unthinkable.

I have heard from my grandmother a million times, “Well, he’s a doctor, he must know what’s best for me.”

This is not necessarily the case. In the days of specialists, advanced medications and shortened appointments, patients need to be proactive. A doctor’s appointment averages 15-20 minutes. It’s not a lot of time, but there are some things you can do to make those precious minutes count.

“Gone are the days when the doctor takes the solo lead in the care of a patient,” said Deb Chapman, director of outreach services at Eastern Agency on Aging. “Today the key word to describe a solid patient-doctor relationship is partnership. Patients need to take an active role in their care plan, and the responsibility of good communication rests with both the patient and the physician.”

Chapman offers some tips for getting the most out of your doctor’s visit:

. Prepare for your appointment by making a list of your concerns and questions. This is the best way to maximize the limited and valuable time you have with your health care provider, and ensures you will remember everything you want to discuss.

. Take notes while your doctor is talking to you. Don’t rely on your memory. If you can’t write and listen simultaneously, bring a friend along to take notes, or ask your doctor if you can tape-record the visit. Small, handheld recorders are inexpensive and readily available.

Amy Cotton, a geriatric nurse practitioner for Rosscare, agrees and offers a few tips of her own:

. Schedule an appointment for first thing in the morning or right after lunch, when the physician is less likely to be backed up.

. Bring your medications that need to be refilled. Your doctor can write a prescription on the spot. It’s faster and easier than trying to call in a renewal.

. If you are scheduled for a routine visit but have a certain issue to discuss, don’t wait until you arrive at the office. Call ahead and request a longer appointment with the doctor if possible, or set another appointment for that particular concern. This holds especially true for “check” visits.

Remember, if you are scheduled for a blood pressure check, you may not even see the doctor, but a nurse or physician’s assistant instead, said Cotton. And don’t assume you’ll have time to discuss concerns you have at that time.

“Letting the doctor know what your needs are helps ensure that you get those needs met,” said Cotton.

“And above all, be honest with your doctor about any issues you have, and speak up if there is something you don’t understand,” said Chapman. “Your treatment is only as good as the information you provide the doctor.”

If you’ve done all you can do to be actively involved in your care and are still not getting the help you need, don’t be afraid to change doctors. The most important thing is your health.

Carol Higgins is communications director at Eastern Agency on Aging. For information on EAA, call 941-2865 or log on www.eaaa.org.