SOUTH BERWICK – An alleged bank robber who was dubbed the “soccer mom bandit” by New York media grew up in Maine.

Police have charged Pamela Kaichen, 43, with robbing six banks in affluent New York and Connecticut suburbs over two days last week.

Kaichen grew up in South Berwick, where her mother and sister still live. She most recently lived in the suburbs north of New York City.

Lendon Gray, a well-known horse riding instructor and Olympic equestrian, has strong ties to Maine and knew Kaichen as well as anyone probably could. Gray, whose family started Old Town Canoe and ran Puckerbrush Farm in Newburgh, said Kaichen was friendly, helpful, generous and well-educated, but that she was a private person.

Gray was shocked and surprised to learn that Kaichen, who had been a student and volunteer in Newburgh and later helped at Gray’s farm in Bedford, N.Y., may have robbed six banks.

“It’s such a bizarre story,” Gray said from her farm in Bedford on Friday.

Kaichen was arrested Tuesday as she was picking up her mail from the Chappaqua post office. Days earlier a Danbury, Conn. police officer had pulled her over for not wearing a seat belt, later recognizing her from news accounts of the blond woman robbing the banks. Kaichen has dark hair and at the time of her arrest, authorities discovered a long blond wig in the car.

Gray said she saw Kaichen on May 17 at a seminar held at the Bedford farm that drew about 50 people and at that time Kaichen appeared very relaxed, nothing suggesting she was in dire financial problems. Kaichen ran a marketing business that apparently ran into financial difficulties, but Gray said that Kaichen told people that she saw it as an opportunity to pursue her real dream of teaching riders and training horses.

Working with horses and riders was something that Kaichen had helped Gray with several times over the years. In the winter of 2000-2001, Gray let Kaichen help with teaching at the farm, giving her an opportunity to develop a little bit of a name for herself, something that usually required winning competitions. Kaichen was very popular with the clients, Gray said.

At international horse show competitions held annually, Kaichen would work where needed, volunteering for even the most mundane jobs, Gray said.

Kaichen was as helpful as she was private. Gray said she doesn’t know of any close friends Kaichen would confide in, let alone ask for help.

News accounts say Kaichen had lived in Chappaqua, an affluent area, in a room she rented. Gray said she lived about a mile from President Bill and Hillary Clinton.

“How sad that she felt she couldn’t come to someone and ask for help,” Gray said.

Court documents accuse Kaichen of telling one bank teller, “I lost a loved one on September 11. Please put everything from your top drawer in this bag. I have a gun in my right hand.”

Gray said Kaichen recently told her she had been volunteering daily at ground zero, the site of the 2001 terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center towers. But, Gray added, it was hard for anybody to get close to Kaichen and she didn’t have any close friends.

“She never let anybody in,” Gray said.