In theaters

JOHNNY ENGLISH, directed by Peter Howitt, written by Neal Purvis, Robert Wade and William Davies, 87 minutes, rated PG.

The new Peter Howitt comedy, “Johnny English,” goes where three Austin Powers movies and 40 years of other spy-genre imitators have gone before – straight into the lucrative world of lampooning James Bond.

Considering the long, over-cooked history of the spy spoof and the inherent laziness of Hollywood, it’ll probably surprise no one that Howitt offers nothing new. So, since audiences will tolerate repetition but never a movie that lulls them to sleep, the focus shifts to the quality of the comedy and whether it delivers.

That it doesn’t is what sinks “Johnny English.”

The film, which Howitt directed from a script by Neal Purvis, Robert Wade and William Davies, is every bit as canned and as simple as those current darlings of the media, Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez, but without the good teeth, the good hygiene, and the attitude that, in spite of being shamelessly obvious and lame, it’s somehow relevant.

“Johnny English” knows it’s not relevant, but instead of using that knowledge to give the film an edge – as Mike Myers did in his films – Howitt accepts it and allows his film to die onscreen.

In the film, British comedian Rowan Atkinson (“Bean”) stars as English, a bumbling paper pusher for the British Secret Service who becomes, after an explosive series of events, the lead spy trying to reclaim the queen’s stolen jewels.

The man behind the theft is billionaire Pascal Sauvage (John Malkovich), a frothy Frenchman eager to overthrow the queen and become the new king of England.

His plan is to turn England into the world’s largest prison complex, something English is determined to prevent in spite of his inability to function in the everyday world.

Helping him overcome his overbearing, one-joke clumsiness are idiot savant Bough (Ben Miller) and the leggy Lorna Campbell (Natalie Imbruglia), both of whom add zip to a script that’s so witless and dull, it might leave some craving a shot of Johnny Walker once the credits roll.

Not unlike “Pirates of the Caribbean,” whose roots were buried in a Disney theme-park ride, “Johnny English” also has unusual origins – it was inspired by a popular series of British credit-card commercials starring Atkinson. Here’s hoping that the film’s inevitable sequel only surfaces in one of those 30-second spots.

Grade: D+

On video and DVD

THE REAL CANCUN, directed by Rick De Oliveira, 89 minutes, rated R.

Finally, right at your local video store, there’s a promising second option to hormone replacement therapy. It’s called “The Real Cancun,” and while the procedure it offers is invasive, watching it nevertheless jump-starts the pituitary.

The film, which was a bust when it hit theaters in April, is cinema’s first reality-based movie, an unscripted, bawdy excursion into the heady lives of 16 young adults – eight men and eight women – all of whom agreed to be filmed while cavorting on the beaches and in the bedrooms of Cancun, Mexico, over the March spring break.

For their trouble, these kids were paid $1,000 each and all the free booze they could drink, which, by the time they slurped their last body shot, downed their last funnel of tequila and chugged their last bottle of brew, suggests their paydays were probably closer to mid-six figures.

As the film opens, we’re introduced to the pre-tox versions of all these kids, an enthusiastic, fresh-faced lot who make no bones about it – they want their 15 minutes of fame and they’re willing to do anything to get it.

Not everybody here has the moxie to leave their mark onscreen, but those who do include identical twins Nicole and Roxanne, a wild duo with a wilder bisexual vibe; Xavier and Sky, who have a torrid love affair, an ugly breakup and a torrid love affair, all within a matter of days; and Alan, a shy, introspective Texas teen whose favorite drink is a virgin daiquiri.

Teens and twentysomethings will likely find the movie one part potboiler, two parts sex comedy and three parts community service, a film that delivers helpful advice to those who have ever considered the ramifications of taking part in a wet T-shirt contest without the T-shirt, or perhaps being paddled onstage in front of thousands of cheering onlookers.

Shrewdly, the movie recommends neither.

For the rest of us, “The Real Cancun” offers a measure of insight into the current mating scene. Yes, a good deal of the movie’s booty-shaking shenanigans are elevated for the cameras, but between the cracks, so to speak, are moments of truth, such as when young Alan succumbs to peer pressure and takes a ruinous first drink, or when it dawns on shallow Laura that her homebound boyfriend will soon join the rest of the country in seeing her as the cheating, drunken lout she really is.

At times exhilarating, at times appalling, and often both, “The Real Cancun” is a celebration of youth and impulse. It was stitched together in less than a month, and the lack of quality shows, but it’s hard to dismiss a movie driven so relentlessly by the pursuit of sex that it ends with a show-stopping STD song.

Grade: C+

Christopher Smith is the Bangor Daily News film critic. His reviews appear Mondays and Fridays in Style, Thursdays on WLBZ 2 and WCSH 6, and are archived on RottenTomatoes.com. He can be reached at BDNFilm1@aol.com.

The Video-DVD Corner

Renting a video or a DVD? NEWS film critic Christopher Smith can help. Below are his grades of recent releases in video stores. Those capped and in bold print are new to video stores this week.

About Schmidt ? A

Adaptation ? A

Analyze That ? C-

Antwone Fisher ? A-

Basic ? D

Comedian ? B+

Dark Blue ? B

Die Another Day ? C+

Drumline ? B+

8 Mile ? C

The Emperor’s Club ? C+

Femme Fatale ? C+

FINAL DESTINATION 2 ? B-

Frida ? B+

Gangs of New York ? C

Gods and Generals ? D-

A Guy Thing ? D

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets ? B+

The Hot Chick ? C-

How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days ? C-

The Hours ? A

Just Married ? C-

THE LIFE OF DAVID GALE ? C-

Narc ? A-

National Security ? C-

Old School ? D-

Phone Booth ? B

Pinocchio ? F

The Pianist ? A+

Punch Drunk Love ? B+

Real Women Have Curves ? A-

The Recruit ? B

Red Dragon ? B+

Shanghai Knights ? B

Talk to Her ? A-

Tears of the Sun ? C-

The Transporter ? B-

The 25th Hour ? A