Parents can assuage kids’ stress

There’s probably not a concerned parent around who was surprised at the news this week that the combination of too much stress, boredom and expendable cash can lead many children to abuse drugs and alcohol.

According to a survey of about 2,000 youngsters and 500 parents by Columbia University’s National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse, children ages 12 to 17 who are frequently bored are 50 percent more likely to smoke, drink occasionally or often, and use illegal drugs. The study also found that youngsters who say they’re highly stressed out are twice as likely as less-stressed kids to smoke, drink and use drugs. The survey also revealed that kids who get $25 or more a week in spending money are nearly twice as likely as their less well-heeled peers to indulge in risky behavior, presumably because they’re better able to afford their potentially dangerous indulgences. For most parents, the study may offer few startling revelations. Who among us, after all, doesn’t recognize the perils confronting teens who have far too little to do, or those who feel so overwhelmed by the pressures of life that they seek escape in unhealthy ways?

William E. Davis, the director of the Institute for the Study of Students at Risk at the University of Maine, wasn’t surprised by the recent Columbia survey, either. But he finds it especially instructive that the survey reveals, for the first time in its eight-year history, that children today are as concerned about social and academic pressures as they are about drugs in their lives.

“That’s something we should take seriously,” said Davis, who is a professor of education. “In my work in the schools, I’m seeing a lot of kids who are very stressed out about what it takes these days to keep up with the new demands in the classroom.”

Despite the best intentions of educational reforms such as the federal No Child Left Behind concept and Maine’s Learning Results initiative, he said, more and more children may feel emotionally ill-equipped to handle the increased pressures of school.

“I’m seeing many kids who are stressed out by just the anticipation of not being able to meet the new academic standards, and that’s something educators should be looking at,” Davis said. “The message kids are getting is that they really have to buckle down now, and they’re feeling the strain. Some of them may already feel disconnected from school, so this adds to the stress level. There are kids who may not want to go to college – bright kids who may want to be carpenters or mechanics instead – and they can feel really squeezed by the increased academic pressures.”

Davis agrees entirely with Joseph Califano Jr., chairman and president of the Columbia University center, who said the study proves that “parental engagement in their child’s life is the best protection mom and dad can provide.” But Davis said finding that proper level of engagement can be tricky for parents, who need to find a manageable balance between helpful guidance and being overbearing. Parents may be so concerned with keeping their children busy, constantly challenged and out of trouble that they can easily inflict undue stress by overscheduling their lives.

“Parents are increasingly getting mixed messages about what it means to be a good, involved parent,” Davis said. “I think the most important thing is talk with your children honestly and often, to become more observant over time and to learn who your kids are. There’s a fine line between worrying about things once in a while, which is normal for any kid, and severe stress that leads to problems. And that’s something that parents and educators need to address.”