I blame it on Kathie Lee Gifford.

I blame everything on Kathie Lee Gifford.

I can’t explain why I would continue to watch the “Regis” show even though co-host Mrs. Gifford drove me crazy with her endless speeches about her perfect children (Cody and Cassidy, I believe) and her even more perfect marriage with Mr. Football, Frank Gifford.

When the Globe tabloid (not the Boston Globe) hired a busty stewardess to seduce Frank moments after a downtown lunch with Kathie Lee, they wired the hotel room for sound and set up hidden cameras. Perfect Frank fell for the scheme hook, line and sinker.

It may have been a scandalous thing for the Globe to do, but at least it shut up Kathie Lee. Since that event, I have always had a warm spot in my heart for the tabloid.

I recently subscribed and now get the paper in my Camden post office box. When I see the paper inside the box, I always roll it up tight so my upstanding neighbors don’t see what I read these days.

It’s not all trash, just mostly trash.

This week’s issue has articles on Jaclyn Smith and her battle with cancer, Lisa Marie’s “desperate hunt” for husband No. 4 (her dad must be so proud), America’s “Wildest Sex Club” and Hollywood’s nastiest family feud, none other than sisters Joan Fontaine and Olivia deHavilland, who haven’t spoken to each other since 1950.

Naturally, the Globe covers Bobby Brown’s latest arrest. (He behaved much better than wife Whitney Houston during the arrest.)

I need to know these things.

Here is something you didn’t know. Actress Cybill Shepherd actually met beleaguered California Gov. Gray Davis on a Hawaii beach when Davis was 24 and she was a 16-year-old beauty queen. The Globe reports that the couple had a “sizzling romp” on the beach.

Cameron Diaz and boy toy Justin Timberlake are unusually neat and tidy. Timberlake, the world’s luckiest man, wears up to six pairs of underwear (not at the same time) a day and throws away the old ones. You didn’t know that.

The Globe also gives us pictures of Shelley Winters at 83 and tennis star Anna Kournikova in high heels.

Did you know that Ryan O’Neal and daughter Tatum are talking again?

A Globe review of “The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers” informs us that people can live – and even grind their teeth – for up to 12 seconds after losing their heads to guillotines.

An update on the “Facts of Life” cast informed us that Lisa Whelchel (Blair) is a best-selling author on the problems of disciplining children, as well as a Grammy nominee for her gospel album. I know you didn’t know that.

Hey, even the Globe isn’t perfect. It takes them 47 pages before they tell us that it was LBJ that killed JFK, after all. I know that was news to me.

A photo feature on “odd couples” include Liz Taylor and the unforgettable Larry Fortensky, Lyle Lovett and Julia Roberts, plus my personal favorite, Hugh Grant and Divine Brown.

All this for the $1 subscription price.

Thank you, Kathie Lee.

Send complaints and compliments to Emmet Meara at emmetmeara@msn.com.