ShopGirl is seriously distracted lately, having undertaken that major of style challenges, Getting Married.

So I, ShopCrone, am filling in columnwise on a temporary basis. That particular sobriquet is appropriate, by the way, because ShopCrone is a woman of a particular age, not quite old enough to tell you what to wear with purple hair and a walker, but definitely in the Botox League.

Yet ShopGirl and I, despite our age differences, have bonded over fashion and can spend untold hours wasting our employer’s time discussing such essentials as shoes and bags and hemlines. After all, we share our copies of Lucky and InStyle and both love getting fashion catalogs in the mail.

ShopCrone also has an appropriate lineage. ShopCrone’s mother, now a West Coast fashionista, once lived in Paris and hunted in the secondhand shops of the City of Lights, where she managed to find runway discards from Chanel, Dior and Celine. ShopCroneMom also adores Hermes scarves and taught ShopCrone, when she was just ShopBabe, how to tell a real Louis Vuitton from a sidewalk copy.

It was ShopCroneMom, after all, who coined the phrase: “It was on sale, but I bought it anyway.”

(That line is right up there with that other famous phrase – which strikes fear in the hearts of husbands everywhere – coined by our Beloved Managing Editor: “We have credit cards, and we’re unsupervised.”)

So now on to a fall fashion observation. Has anyone else out there noticed that the new “black” for this season is brown? For a while there it was navy, but now it’s definitely the shades of Godiva chocolate.

Everything from eveningwear to casual attire is brown – from fancy, shirred, floor-length dresses to skirt-and-blouse outfits to distressed jeans. (By the way, did you see the Fab Five’s recent suggestion on how to distress jeans? Rub a cheese grater on them for that instant worn look.)

ShopCrone, for one, rather likes wearing colors that remind one of Belgian truffles or a cup of java and thinks brown is far more complimentary to the complexion than black, regardless of one’s hue. It’s probably a good idea, however, to stay away from yellow-browns or gray-browns that could make your skin look the color of something growing on leftovers in the fridge.

The nice thing is that if you still need to wear black – and many of us do – you can wear it with brown, which really goes with just about any color, except maybe American Beauty red and other really bold colors.

Some fashion watchers also don’t advise brown with pastels, but ShopCrone has seen some pink-and-brown lingerie at VS that certainly has the right impact on ShopCroneHubby.

One of ShopCrone’s favorite outfits is a chocolate-brown, peach skin shirt and pants outfit bought – yes, I admit it – from a Shopping Channel! The shirt is a camp shirt with soutache trim in matching brown thread across the shoulders, while the trousers are a loose-fitting, straight-leg design. I like to wear the outfit with black shoes, bag and suede blazer for a classy, professional look, but I’m also thinking of wearing it with a pair of low-heeled, camel-colored shoes and a matching bag.

For the younger set, as well as ShopCrone when she’s in a Recherche du Temps Perdu kind of mood, brown, embroidered distressed jeans, found everywhere from Gap to Wal-Mart, worn with boots and topped with a beige or taupe embroidered peasant shirt are perfect for attending raves and after-school activities – or visiting your gerontologist.

Well, on to other inconsequential thoughts rattling around in ShopCrone’s brain. I think ShopGirl hasn’t been focusing enough attention on that beauty essential – Bath Gel – but it’s understandable given her nuptial condition.

ShopCrone tends to like strong-smelling things, except bait bags and hockey teams, and she has found some bath products that fit the bill.

Last Christmas, she received one of her favorite products, a big, plastic pump container of VitaBath gelee, that clean-smelling, deep-green slime she first encountered in Europe, where it is known as Badedas. VitaBath contains horse chestnut essence, which gives it its unique and fresh aroma. Very invigorating after the gym or when bath-time stimulation is required.

Another favorite refreshing scent is Clarin’s Eau Dynamisante gel moussant parfume, which also comes in body oil and eau de toilette, all available at Filene’s, as well as the wonderful Coco Mademoiselle gel moussante by Chanel. ShopCrone loves to luxuriate in a hot foaming bath with that particular parfume.

Get the sense that if you said it in French, I would buy it?

Not entirely true, fellow shoppers! While browsing in the local Hannaford’s, ShopCrone had an epiphany. If baby bath is good for babies, then it might be good for ShopCrone! Now she is hooked on the store brand Mild Night-Time Baby Bath With Lavender and Chamomile – the one with the Muppet Babies on the container.

There’s only one downside, however. Put it in a tub of hot water and it tends to have a soporific effect, at least it does on ShopCrone, and you know what happens if you fall asleep in your bath – Prune Skin! Something that ShopCrone, who already resembles a Shar-Pei when she’s dry, doesn’t need, thankyouverymuch.

Well, that’s enough fashion ramblings for now. Won’t you be glad when ShopGirl returns?

Me too.

Jeanne Curran is a NEWS assignment editor who could stay home and watch the Style Channel all day until Les Vaches Retournes Chez Eux.