In theaters

DICKIE ROBERTS: FORMER CHILD STAR, directed by Sam Weisman, written by Fred Wolf and David Spade, 99 minutes, rated PG-13.

The best scenes in the new David Spade comedy, “Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star,” come early and late, with director Sam Weisman opening and closing his film with a satirical, very funny take on E! Entertainment’s “E! True Hollywood Story.”

The show, which for years has trafficked in what might best be described as a celebrity ambush of worship and vilification, is well used here, with Weisman offering a stinging, documentary-style commentary on the life of troubled former child star Dickie Roberts, an affable mess with no career prospects who once ruled the airwaves as a cute kid with a popular sitcom and a multimillion-dollar catch phrase – “This is nucking futs!”

So’s the movie, the majority of which is hardly “dyn-o-mite.” As directed by Weisman from a script by Spade and Fred Wolf, “Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star” quickly pushes aside the satirical promise of its premise in favor of trying to warm our hearts.

It asks the caustic Spade – of all people – to tend to the fires, which is akin to throwing wet blankets over them. Known for his cynical edge, Spade is probably the last actor you want or even expect to wallow in sap, but that’s just what he does here, with the midsection of the movie becoming derailed in the process.

The film’s premise, such as it is, goes like this: Tired of parking cars at trendy L.A. restaurants, Roberts is desperately seeking a show business comeback. Hearing about the new Rob Reiner movie, he stakes his future on it, with Reiner (playing himself) agreeing to give Roberts a shot if he can play the title role.

Unfortunately, that role involves playing a character very much in touch with his inner child, which Roberts himself, having been screwed out of his childhood, can’t relate to. And so Roberts, determined to bridge the gap between enfant and enfant terrible, rents a suburban stepfamily to show him the ropes.

It’s a setup that leads to Roberts bonding with his new kid brother and sister (Jenna Boyd and Scott Tessa) over Candy Land and backyard fun while, in the interim, falling hard for his doe-eyed pseudomom (Mary McCormack), a woman whose marriage to George (Craig Bierko) is conveniently on the rocks. Not unlike this film.

At the end, the movie does recover some of its lost edge when Weisman gathers several dozen real-life former child stars on a soundstage and allows them to belt out a biting power ballad to all their fans.

As sung by Butch Patrick of “The Munsters,” Gary Coleman of “Diff’rent Strokes,” Maureen McCormick, Mike Lookingland, Christopher Knight and Barry Williams of “The Brady Bunch,” among many others, the song, punched with profanity, is a reminder that many of those kids still playing out their childhoods in reruns on our television sets grew up with the sort of unresolved issues they now are willing to laugh at.

“Dickie Roberts” should have taken its true inspiration from them.

Grade: C-

On video and DVD

CONFESSIONS OF A DANGEROUS MIND, directed by George Clooney, written by Charlie Kaufman, 115 minutes, rated R.

George Clooney’s “Confessions of a Dangerous Mind,” with Sam Rockwell as game show host Chuck Barris, asks the sort of questions Clooney and screenwriter Charlie Kaufman are hoping all of us have been pondering for the past two decades.

Was Barris’ 1981 nervous breakdown the result of the harsh and unrelenting criticisms he received for creating “The Dating Game,” “The Newlywed Game” and “The Gong Show”? Or could it be that his mental collapse was due to the guilt he felt for murdering 33 people in his alleged double life as an assassin for the CIA? That’s right – an assassin for the CIA.

Whatever the case, the movie doesn’t answer because, in the end, it doesn’t give a ba-da-bing about Barris’ life beyond the gong.

If anything, this technically well-crafted yet emotionally distant and long-winded movie is more about Clooney’s search of a cinematic style. Employing tricks he learned from his former directors and friends Steven Soderbergh, Spike Jonze and the Coen Brothers, his movie is an imitative collision of styles that follows Barris’ early years in television straight through to the present day.

Rockwell is good as Barris but it’s Drew Barrymore’s turn as his longtime girlfriend, Penny Pacino, that’s the standout; she’s excellent here. Julia Roberts, stiff and self-conscious in a throwaway role as CIA operative Patricia, is little more than a talking head beneath her never-ending series of wigs. And Clooney, as CIA agent Jim Byrd, once again plays a cool, all-knowing hipster; he’s likable, but his familiar performance offers nothing new.

What’s curious about “Confessions” is that it gives an epic sweep to a man who, on “The Gong Show,” always seemed so stoned out of his mind. There’s no question that Barris was an interesting character, but to treat him as if he were an icon, as this movie does, is enough to inspire anyone to bang that old gong of his loud and clear.

Grade: C

Christopher Smith is the Bangor Daily News film critic. His reviews appear Mondays and Fridays in Style, Thursdays on WLBZ 2 and WCSH 6, and are archived on RottenTomatoes.com. He can be reached at BDNFilm1@aol.com.

Renting a video or a DVD? NEWS film critic Christopher Smith can help. Below are his grades of recent releases in video stores. The titles capitalized and in bold print are new to video stores this week.

About Schmidt ? A

Adaptation ? A

A Man Apart ? C-

Bowling for Columbine ? A-

Bringing Down the House ? B

BULLETPROOF MONK ? D

Chicago ? A

CONFESSIONS OF A DANGEROUS MIND ? C

The Core ? C

Cradle 2 the Grave ? C-

Dark Blue ? B

Final Destination 2 ? B-

Frida ? B+

From Justin to Kelly ? F

Gods and Generals ? D-

Head of State ? B+

House of 1,000 Corpses ? D

The Hunted ? C+

Identity ? B+

The Kid Stays in the Picture ? A

The Life of David Gale ? C-

The Lizzie McGuire Movie ? C+

Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers ? A-

Narc ? A-

Phone Booth ? B

The Pianist ? A+

Punch Drunk Love ? B+

The Quiet American ? A

Raising Victor Vargas ? A

Real Women Have Curves ? A-

The Recruit ? B

Shanghai Knights ? B

Solaris ? C+

The 25th Hour ? A

VIEW FROM THE TOP ? C+