Ah, to see ourselves as others see us.

The New York Times has completed its obligatory visit to the “prettiest town in Maine,” by which we mean Camden, of course. Camden is simply hated by all those unfortunates who do not live here. On our annual canoe sinking trips to the North Woods, I always say I’m from Rockland, just in case.

Times travel reporter David D. Kirkpatrick believes that the Maine coast was not discovered and settled by the hardy pioneers or even native American Indians, but by “intrepid painters” such as Thomas Cole and Frederick E. Church, who “let out the secret that the Penobscot Bay’s rocky pine-covered cliffs and mountains made for pretty spectacular scenery.”

Apparently, you have not been discovered until you have been captured for the walls of some New York art gallery.

Thank God we were discovered by the “rusticators” from New York and Philadelphia.

The Times states that in the 1880s, these hardy travelers from Boston, New York and Philadelphia “discovered Penobscot Bay in their search for a more authentic immersion in nature than could be found in summer resorts like Lenox and Newport. Their descendants and successors still inhabit the islands of Vinalhaven, North Haven and Isleboro (sic).”

For years, the Times and their famous fact-checkers have persisted in calling that Waldo County island “Isleboro” instead of what Mainers refer to, correctly as “Islesboro.” Perhaps we should send the Times a DeLorme Gazetteer.

Camden has apparently become a big fishing area, according to the Times. The Times reports that Camden lands 16 million pounds of lobster each year, “more than any other fishing port in the world.”

This will cause gales of laughter at Fitzpatrick’s Restaurant, where “real Camden residents” go for their breakfast. If Camden has a single lobster fisherman left, he (or she) is probably hired by the Chamber of Commerce to provide some “local color” for the New Jersey visitors. I would be amazed if Camden lands more than 16 pounds of lobster a year, since the lobster fleet was long ago squeezed out by the luxury yachts owned by the relatives of the “rusticators.”

The appalling New Yorker attitude is evident in virtually each paragraph.

The Corner Shop in Rockport is derided as a “humble diner.”

Yes, Camden’s French and Brawn grocery store is surprisingly sophisticated, but that is because it “mainly caters to the cosmopolitan taste of summer residents. ” In the winter we mainly exist on chewed whale hide, washed down with some rotgut whiskey.

It is a wonder to the New York Times how a backwater burg like Camden “can support so many bookstores.” Only a few Camden residents, led by the schoolmarm, have mastered the intricacies of the written word.

It is also boggling to Manhattan why Camden stores like the Meetinghouse Bookstore and Bakery carry so many interesting items for the “thinking tourists.” No Maine resident has ever had a thought worth recording, the Times implies.

The snobbery continues.

While traveling in the wilds of Maine, “You have no right to expect anything more elaborate that a boiled lobster or fried fish,” the Times reports. When we are not chewing on that whale fat, we like a good bowl of gruel. The Times reporter is astonished that anything as “sophisticated” as Owls Head’s Primo Restaurant can exist north of Central Park. Why, Primo even has matching silverware and plates!

I know I am a Massachsetts transplant, but even I think it is now time to pull up that bridge from New Hampshire.

Send complaints and compliments to Emmet Meara at emmetmeara@msn.com.