‘Autumnitis’ afflicting sportsmen

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Around these parts it’s common knowledge that the arrival of October triggers a virus that infects thousands of sportsmen. For lack of a name – the virus has yet to be identified – let’s call it “autumnitis.” If by chance you’re among the afflicted, you know the disease is incurable. Yet you don’t despair. To the contrary, you look forward to controlling the virus with regular doses of activities involving smoothbore guns and special dogs.

Accordingly, when the first symptoms of my annual affliction occur I begin treating it with visits to sports shops. There I find relief, albeit temporary, in purchasing one more extra dog bell or blaze-orange collar or another goose call guaranteed to produce double-clucks that will unravel tightly knit formations of high-flying Canadas.

Granted, shooting alleviates autumnitis. Hit or miss, the smell of burnt powder mingling with the cidery scent of October uplands and the swampy aromas of marshlands is soothing, but pulling the trigger is by no means paramount to dealing with the disease. Right now, for example, I’m assuaging the virus by painting a rig of cork-body whistler decoys that I bought last summer. Not to mention six Canada goose decoys purchased in response to September’s symptomatic blush of swamp maples. Set alongside a spread of black duck decoys, the goose decoys will convince the ever-wary blacks that the coast is clear. Or should anyway. Come to think of it, I have a great blue heron “confidence decoy” for that purpose. But, what the heck, the goose tollers show up better and buying them relieved my autumnitis.

Without question, the costs of treating the virus pale in comparison to the prices of prescription drugs necessary for controlling and curing other diseases. Nevertheless, sportsmen suffering from autumnitis continually pay more for their medications. This year, for example, the cost of a Maine waterfowl permit, without the stamp, doubled from $2.50 to $5. But if you were further disturbed by the Dec. 31 expiration date on this year’s permit, indicating it wouldn’t be valid through the January 2004 sea-duck season, relax. The Department of Inland Fisheries and Wildlife’s Licensing Division confirms that recent legislation has validated the 2003 permit through January 2004. Thereafter, however, the permit will expire on Dec. 31.

Recently, my oldest offspring, Jeff, dealt with the autumn-induced virus by hooking onto a new boat trailer cradling a new 15-foot boat saddled with a new 40-horse, four-stroke outboard. Wide, deep and unsinkable because of the Styrofoam sandwiched between the outer and inner layers of its Roplene hull, the open, olive-drab boat draws only six inches of water. As stable as a sidewalk, it will serve as a duck blind when camouflaged and, of course, a comfortable fishing platform come springtime. That’s expensive medication to say the least. But so what? We’re all riding on a one-way ticket and I’ve yet to see a hearse stop at a bank.

Speaking of duck hunting, recently I’ve received phone calls from members of the camouflage clan inquiring about the regulations for Maine’s 2003 waterfowl seasons. So, to prevent your autumnitis from costing you more money via fines, draw a bead on the waterfowl seasons that took wing on Wednesday:

. Ducks, except black ducks, North Zone: Oct. 1-Dec. 9. South Zone: Oct. 1-Oct. 18 and Nov. 3-Dec. 23.

. Black duck season: North Zone: Oct. 4-Dec. 9. South Zone: Oct. 4-Oct. 18 and Nov. 3-Dec. 23.

. Pintail and canvasback season: North Zone: Oct. 1-Nov. 4. South Zone: Oct.1-Oct. 18 and Nov. 3-Nov. 18.

The daily limit on ducks is four, possession limit, eight, with the following exceptions: 1. From Oct. 1-3, no black ducks may be taken. 2. Closed season on harlequin ducks. 3. The daily limit on black ducks, pintails, canvasbacks, mottled ducks and fulvous tree ducks is one, possession limit, two. 4. The daily limit on hen mallard, wood ducks and redhead ducks is two, possession limit, four. 5. In addition to the daily limit of four, two additional teal (green-winged or blue-winged) may be taken per day. Note: A possession limit of 12 is permitted providing that it includes four or more teal. 6. Scaup: daily limit, three, possession limit, six. 7. Mergansers and American coots: Season same as ducks. Daily limit five, possession limit 10, excepting hooded merganser, daily limit, one, possession limit, two.

. Canada geese: North Zone: Oct. 1-Dec. 9. South Zone: Oct. 1- Oct. 31 and Nov. 15-Dec. 23. Daily limit, two, possession limit, four.

. Snow geese: Oct. 1-Jan. 31, 2004. Daily limit, 15, no possession limit.

. Brant: Oct. 1-Dec. 9. Daily limit, three, possession limit, six.

. Sea ducks: eider, scoter, old squaw, Oct. 1-Jan. 31, 2004. Daily limit seven, possession limit 14, with the following exceptions: Scoter, daily limit, four, possession limit, eight. Eider, daily limit, five, possession limit, 10.

. Special Falconry Season: In addition to the regular migratory bird season on ducks, mergansers, American coots: North Zone: Dec. 10-Jan. 31, 2004. South Zone: Jan. 7, 2004-Feb. 28, 2004. Falconry season daily and possession limits for all permitted migratory birds shall not exceed three and six respectively, singly or in the aggregate.

. Woodcock: Oct. 1-25 and Oct. 27-31. The split dates on woodcock hunting were implemented to eliminate a Sunday from the federally mandated 30-day woodcock season, thereby providing an extra hunting day, Oct. 31.

So there you have it, Sport. Sign your duck stamps, make sure your pumps and auto-loaders are plugged and don’t look up when ducks are circling the decoys, especially if the boat hidden behind the blind isn’t yours.

Allowing that the first shots of Maine’s bear and moose seasons are fired in early autumn, it’s obvious that autumnitis doesn’t become epidemic until October. Therefore, considering that the contagion is strictly for the birds, hunters who keep feather hounds will suffer from the virus until well after the snow flies.

No matter how diligently I treat the disease with bird boots, hip boots, dog bells and whistles, duck calls, blinds, decoys of every description, canoes and boats painted olive drab, briar-proof pants, shooting vests faded from brush-brown to butternut and hats and parkas colored in camouflage patterns, I can’t shake it. Even while fishing on the Roach River with Jeff Kane recently, I was overwhelmed by autumnitis. A mile or so beyond Kokadjo we stopped to watch a huge bull moose grazing in a bog, the drumming of a partridge distracted me while we rigged our rods, and the first fish I caught and released was a magnificent male brook trout resplendent in spawning colors that rivaled the fall foliage.

In spite of my prognosis being poor, I steadfastly treat my autumnitis with a season-long regimen that combines potent medications with prolonged exercise. So it is that I find breakfasts in the wee hours and suppers in the waning hours more enjoyable and energizing than the same meals eaten at the usual times. Likewise, following a bird dog through miles of thickets is much more invigorating to me than a fast-paced walk along town roads; and if there’s anything more palliative than duck hunting from a canoe paddled quietly along a serpentine stream, I’ve yet to find it.

Tell me you’re stimulated by forecasts of line storms that bring the flight birds down or the rhythmical chiming of your bird dog’s bell suddenly falling silent or the hissing of snow against the windows on a mid-November night or the wheezy, single-note recognition call of a drake black duck scaling toward the decoys and I’ll tell you that you’re suffering from a severe case of autumnitis.

Moreover, I’ll tell you that if you value hunting with your antidotal dogs, prepare to fire a full-choke charge of opposition to the Humane Society of the United States’ proposal to ban, via referendum, the use of bait in bear hunting, bear hunting with hounds and, of course, bear trapping. If the referendum is successful you can bet that its tracks will lead to future proposals to ban bird hunting with dogs as well as rabbit hunting, bobcat hunting, coyote hunting, whatever, with hounds.

The way I see it, the HSUS proposal is aimed at the eventual prohibition of hunting, period. And wouldn’t bagging Maine’s bear hunt be a trophy for anti-hunting activists. However, this isn’t the first time Maine sportsmen have been forced to defend hunting. In 1993, an anti-hunting group called Non-hunters’ Rights Alliance sent a bill deceptively titled “An Act to Ensure Safe Hunting” to the Legislature, where it was soundly defeated. The HSUS referendum will, of course, expand the arena. But owing to the continuous assaults on hunting, trapping, even fishing nowadays, I believe Maine sportsmen will again close ranks to protect and defend their recreationally and economically important traditions, cultures and heritage.

Already, a volley of letters and guest columns supporting the HSUS proposal have appeared in this paper, and you’ll probably see another verbal blast after this column runs. So be it. But if nothing is written against the bear-hunting proposal, readers won’t see the other side of the issue. In all the railing against bear-baiting, what hasn’t been mentioned is that many bear baits are never hit, while others may be hit only once or irregularly. Thus, contrary to what has been written, shooting a bear on a bait is not a sure thing.

At any rate, bear hunting, as it has been practiced for the past couple of decades, has had no adverse effect on the state’s bear population. According to wildlife biologist Jennifer Vachon, DIF&W’s bear-project leader, Maine’s current black bear population is estimated to be 23,000, which is the department’s bear-management goal. Of course, much is being said about bears being self-regulating. But the question is, will the bear’s self-regulating instincts satisfy the growing number of people living in proximity to bears? I doubt it. As rural areas become more populated, wildlife is becoming more visible and less man-shy. Much to the consternation of many newly arrived country folk.

Because of its name, many people confuse the HSUS with local humane societies that provide shelter for thousands of unwanted dogs and cats. However, according to the United States Sportsmen’s Alliance, only one percent of HSUS’s current $67 million income goes to animal shelters. The rest is used primarily in opposing animal use, including hunting and trapping. That alone should be a wakeup call for sportsmen.

According to the DIF&W, the total number of hunters, fishermen and trappers annually licensed in Maine is more than 400,000. That’s nearly half the state’s population and, clearly, a magnum load of collective clout – if it’s applied. Otherwise, the bear-hunting referendum will pass and the likes of you and I will be a step closer to being completely cured of autumnitis.

Tom Hennessey’s columns and artwork can be accessed on the BDN Internet page at www.bangornews.com. Tom’s e-mail address is: thennessey@bangordailynews.net; Web site: www.tomhennessey.com.