Budget is such an ugly word.

Unlike “bargain,” which is a beautiful word, “budget” carries baggage. It means control. It means restraint. It means mortgage comes before more stuff.

I mean, I could just not buy food and have PB&J on a Ritz for dinner. But let’s be realistic. I love food – dare I say it – more than I love shopping.

Still, I couldn’t resist a trip to the new Marshalls. I mean, it’s my job, right? I had to go. It was my ShopGirl duty. But I heard rumors that they had Coach shoes. And a friend stopped by on Sunday to show off his new Kenneth Cole watch, which he bought there. How would I be able to resist the temptation?

Times like these call for a Surrogate Shopper.

A Surrogate Shopper is a true friend – one who shares your goals, who appreciates the finer points of off-price merchandise, and who has similarly impeccable taste. Most important, the S.S. has something you don’t: cash flow. You don’t just shop with S.S., you shop through her.

But I couldn’t find one. My sister, ShopGirl Jr., went over the weekend and was daunted by the crowd, but she did pick up a scarf. ShopGuy had zero interest (though, in retrospect, he’s a guy and he’s on a budget, too, so that wouldn’t have worked anyway). Two of my other pals had already gone. Things were beginning to look bleak.

Then serendipity stepped in. On Monday, my friend Jess showed up at work and announced that she was planning to go to Marshalls after she finished an interview. Would I care to join her?

But of course.

So we headed over to the Airport Mall in the pouring rain, a bit taken aback by the fact that several of the lights in the sign had already gone out. We didn’t quite know what to expect when we walked into M r h lls.

Marshalls is a subsidiary of TJX, the parent company of TJ Maxx, and the merchandise is similar. But the brands were higher-end. I don’t know if they trucked up the good stuff for the grand opening or what, but I hope the trend continues.

What caught my eye immediately was the row of Paper Denim & Cloth jeans for $39.99 a pair. These jeans, which are hand-sewn and individually numbered, normally sell for $160. They were marked as irregular, but I couldn’t see any visible defects.

I could feel my resolve crumbling, so I ran over to Jess and started consulting her about pants and sweaters. I gave her the thumbs-up for a gray ribbed turtleneck and then set off in search of the Coach shoes. Fortunately, they didn’t have them in my size. Unfortunately, the shoe department is located within dangerous proximity of the bag department.

Seconds later, I had a super-preppy Kelly green Dooney & Bourke tote in my clutches. It was a bargain at $59.99. It looked so rich. It felt so right. I felt so broke.

I put it back and wandered off into housewares, which was kind of a letdown, and when I returned, Jess had the Dooney bag in her hand. Victory! “Where would I use this?” she asked. “The Cape,” I answered. Then we both laughed.

“OK, Bar Harbor,” I said. “It’s chic in a Connecticut kind of way.” Not exactly the right thing to say. I could see her interest waning, so I went in for the kill: “Your mother would love it. This bag is so her.” I was right. It would be just the thing for her Lilly Pulitzer-inspired wardrobe. I urged Jess to buy it and either keep it or give it to her mom as a gift. This way, everyone wins, and I could get my bag without actually getting my bag.

But the bag wasn’t in the cards. Too big, Jess said. No shoulder strap. So I steered her toward a much less expensive, but equally stylish shoulder bag in marine-blue leather. The cutout detailing was cute but not hokey, and the $12.99 price tag was just right.

My Surrogate Shopper didn’t let me down – she bought the bag, which is exactly what I would’ve done. I felt almost as good as if I had made the purchase myself. Actually, I felt better, because I didn’t have to worry about that pesky budget. And I didn’t have to have peanut butter and crackers for dinner, either.

Reader question

Dear ShopGirl,

I would like to make a suggestion for a column. In the past couple of weeks at different locations, my husband and I have experienced “not-so-great” customer service, i.e. bad attitudes from clerks. We have heard other people complain about this, too. Is there a policy in place in the stores now regarding taking care of customers? We are average people who run a business, too. We would not allow our employees to treat customers the way we have been treated at times. Do you ever have that problem during your shopping trips or is it just bad timing on our part?

I would certainly understand if you could not write about this problem, but possibly a line or two noting the people who do try to put themselves out for the customer would do as much good.

Thanks for your time and happy shopping,

Ruth Frost

Dear Ruth,

Thank you so much for your kind letter, which I edited for space concerns.

I think it is important to recognize the retailers who go out of their way to treat their customers well – it is not only kind, but it is good for business, as well. And it makes shopping an even better experience.

Bad service is bad for business. When I’m treated poorly at a shop, I won’t return, and I’ll tell my friends not to go there, either. I’m sure I’m not alone.

In fact, I do plan to write a column about this topic, and would like to hear from other readers who have experienced poor treatment while shopping. My colleague, business writer Deborah Turcotte, is planning to write a story from the retailers’ perspective, too – just as there are bad clerks, there are bad customers.

Shoppers can send their stories to my attention, and retailers can send their stories to Deborah Turcotte’s attention at: Bangor Daily News, P.O. Box 1329, Bangor, ME 04402-1329. I can also be reached via e-mail at kandresen@bangordailynews.net, while Turcotte can be reached at dturcotte@bangordailynews.net.

ShopNotes

. In my last column, I mentioned Creative Flowers, Gifts and Antiques in downtown Bangor. The owner, Helen Leger, e-mailed to let me know that she doesn’t specialize in lamp repair or restoration, but she does sell a variety of locally made crafts, including pieces by the Woodworks, Julie’s baskets, Purple Grace bead jewelry, pillows and runners by Janice, Cathy’s Candles, and Uniquely Deb handpainted jewelry. She also sells antiques, as well as fresh, silk and dried flower arrangements. For information, call 947-7414

. If you’re looking for a one-of-a-kind gift for the holidays or for yourself, check out the Designing Women show and sale from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. today at the Holiday Inn on Main Street in Bangor. In addition to viewing high-end handcrafted jewelry, glasswork, fiber arts, quilts, paintings, photographs, pottery, dolls, clothing, lamps and paper, among other gorgeous goodies, you’ll also have the chance to support a good cause. A $2 donation at the door will benefit Rape Response Services. One of the members of Designing Women, Janyce Boynton, has used quilting to work through her conflicted feelings in the aftermath of rape, and the resulting quilt will be on display at the show. For information on the show, contact Lisa Colburn at 866-3861 or visit www.designingwomen.org.