We’re still a little more than three weeks away from Thanksgiving and already it’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas out there.

The stores are quickly getting decked out in their glitzy yuletide regalia, and the Christmas advertising that started dribbling out on radio and TV long before Halloween soon will be unleashed in a torrent that each year threatens to overwhelm our senses, our nerves, our finances and our reserves of good will.

While the holidays can be a stressful time for all of us, they pose a unique set of survival challenges to those women whose lives may have been radically altered by changes in the home or the workplace.

The loss of a spouse through death or divorce, a low-wage job or perhaps no job at all with which to pay the bills and support the family – each new circumstance inflicts a measure of anxiety that can be compounded by the enormous pressure many women feel to make the holiday season perfect for everyone in every way.

“Keeping a sense of joy in the holidays can be very difficult for women of any age who suddenly find themselves in transition from work or marriage,” said Susan Russell, coordinator for the Bangor center of Women, Work and Community, a statewide program that helps women achieve financial security. “The expectations are so unrealistically high at this time of the year – emotionally and financially – and trying to measure up to that Christmas ideal can create real conflicts and dilemmas.”

This is why the center is holding a free workshop called “Coping with Holiday Stress” from 9 a.m. to noon Nov. 18 at Acadia Hall on the campus of University College of Bangor.

“With the holiday season under way, we want to give women the opportunity to get together and discuss how they can best hold onto the real meaning of Christmas for themselves,” Russell said, “instead of getting swallowed up by the pressure and the hype.”

A big part of the problem for women in a transitional stage of life, Russell said, is that many of them desperately cling to familiar Christmas rituals that might no longer be suitable to the new makeup of their families.

“Because their lives have changed, the whole family may not be together at Christmas as it once was,” she said. “Or they may not have the money they used to have and can’t take the holiday skiing trip they used to take when the family was intact. So they have to create new rituals to accommodate the changes in their lives, and that’s not easy.”

Women who become the sole breadwinners often feel the need to spend as much on Christmas gifts as they once did in an attempt to minimize the domestic disruptions in their children’s lives.

“No one wants their children to feel deprived at Christmas, of course,” Russell said, “but buying more than you can afford means having to deal with the stress of paying off the credit cards for the next 10 months and then starting all over again. Kids already know their lives are different. Pretending that nothing has changed does no good. So it might be better for families to sit down now and talk about how Christmas will be different this year, and maybe start some new traditions that will be equally satisfying and fulfilling.”

For more information about the free “Coping With Holiday Stress” workshop, call 262-7842 or (800) 442-2092.