Social scene sets up singles 8minuteDating arranges safe, friendly meetings

BANGOR – Things didn’t exactly go smoothly for Robin Stover as she planned her first event as the Bangor-area coordinator of 8minuteDating.

First, a personal matter called her to Florida for a few weeks. Then Stover realized she would have to take a different approach to attracting local singles to the event because men were slow to sign up.

And Tuesday morning – about 14 hours before the evening’s event at the Sea Dog restaurant – she discovered the company’s Web site was down.

But when seven men and seven women showed up to try 8minuteDating for the first time, Stover relaxed a bit.

Stover is the local event organizer for the company, which she said has held the gatherings in 55 cities in the United States and Canada. Tuesday’s event for singles ages 30-45 was the first in the Bangor area.

Stover is offering another event next Tuesday at the Chocolate Grille in Old Town for ages 21-30 and another the following Tuesday at the Muddy Rudder in Brewer for ages 45-60.

8minuteDating is a fairly new concept for singles who are looking to meet friends or potential mates. It’s billed as an alternative to the bar scene, the local Laundromat, or Internet personals.

“You know that everybody’s single, you don’t have to wonder about the person because it’s in a safe atmosphere, and it’s quite comfortable,” said Stover, a Brewer resident who has been married for eight years. “It’s an interesting way to meet people, and there’s no pressure.”

Here’s how it works: Ideally, eight tables are set up with a number on each. Participants are given name tags and cards with the order they are to sit at each table.

Each participant has eight minutes to glean as much information as they can about the person sitting opposite. After each “date” the single decides how they would want to contact the other person – for friendship, for business, or for something more.

Participants are instructed to go home and enter the results on the Web site. When two people choose each other for the same category, the site sends both singles an e-mail with contact information.

Tuesday evening’s event – which was to start at 7:08 – was similar except there were just enough people for seven couples.

In the backroom of the Sea Dog, conversation was a problem for some couples, while others seemed to fill the time easily.

Common topics of conversation? Work, kids, hobbies, dating struggles.

Sherry, a 36-year old from Hampden who works for a nonprofit in Bangor, said she didn’t meet anyone with whom she felt a connection, but the evening was fun nonetheless.

“I would do it again,” said Sherry, who declined to give her last name. “I don’t have the time to go out and meet people, so I thought it would be nice to have someone go out and arrange that for me.”

Ed, a 39-year old who works in maintenance for the city of Bangor, was looking for a way to meet new people.

“It’s different than going to the bars,” said the Bangor resident. “It’s hard to get to know people there because everyone’s standing there. This way you meet someone face-to-face and talk a little bit. I think it’s a good thing.”