November 23, 2024
Column

Singles find eastern Maine challenging

Editor’s Note: Starting today, Bangor Daily News sports writer Jessica Bloch will cover an additional beat. In a biweekly column, she will report on the challenges of dating in eastern Maine.

Breath mints in hand, lipstick in pocket, I made my way through the crowded dance floor. I’ve been bumped, my feet have been stepped on, and my club-soda-and-lime is now in little droplets all over my shirt.

I’m sweaty, I’m tired, and ready to go home, but I have to make my way through to the other side of the room.

But don’t feel any sympathy for me. I asked for it, braving a local dance club for its popular Ladies’ Night.

And once again, I have to wonder: There has to be a better way to meet people. Right?

Hopefully this column will help. I won’t be able to get you a date – you’re on your own there – but maybe I can provide the impetus.

As any single living in eastern Maine knows, dating is hard here. Even if we can’t quantify it – the U.S. Census probably doesn’t keep track of “single and looking” – doesn’t it just seem there are more people around here with a spouse and 2.5 kids?

And it’s hard to get motivated to leave our cozy, warm homes to venture out in snow and wind and cold on the off chance we might meet one new person.

So we have to get creative, and that’s what this column is meant to be: new ways to find out how to meet new people – for friendship or otherwise – while maintaining your sanity and staying true to yourself.

After all, dating isn’t easy. I’ve learned that through lots of different experiences I’ve had in the past year, which is when I decided to get out of the house more often (the three weddings I went to this summer gave me some motivation, too).

Here’s what I’ve discovered (and what you may have figured out already), courtesy of all my evenings in Bangor and Orono and Bar Harbor, meeting some great guys and some not-so-great guys (no names, I promise):

Dating requires tons of patience.

Dating requires a strong ego to either approach someone or to handle a possible rejection.

Dating requires an open mind.

I’m looking forward to continuing my journey, and I hope we can learn more together.

I’d love to hear your stories and I’ll tell some too, like the one about my good friend who met her new husband while buying ant repellent (you may soon read about that tale in a ShopGirl column). Maybe I’ll tell how my parents met … it started with my mom having to be convinced to go to a college mixer – what happened to the good old college mixer, anyway? – and ending with my dad proposing outside of a bathroom.

I’m interested in hearing from everybody, in any kind of situation: straight or gay, old or young, different religions, races, ethnicities and body types. Do you have a job that puts you into contact with a lot of single people (besides all you bartenders out there), or a job that you feel hinders your social life (such as late-night shift work)? Do you have a secret for meeting people you’d be willing to share?

One final note: We’ve all had nightmare dates and relationships. I’m open to hearing all kinds of stories as long as they are constructive – positive, negative, and even those that started on the dance floor at Ladies’ Night.

Mr. Wonderful … wonderful!

Perusing the aisles at Bed Bath and Beyond in Bangor recently, I came across the man every woman wants for the holidays … Mr. Wonderful!

The snag is that Mr. Wonderful is about 12 inches high and comes in a box. He’s actually a toy doll (with dark, rakish looks, according to the box). Squeeze his hand, and he’ll tell a woman everything she wants to hear, give her command over the remote control, tell her to buy more shoes and tell her she looks beautiful in everything (even if she doesn’t).

Mr. Wonderful costs $14.99 and also is available at www.bedbathandbeyond.com. Now if only they made a Ms. Wonderful (“Sure honey, you can buy that tabletop foosball game!”).

(Almost) 8-minute success

Nat Rink, a marketing coordinator for 8minuteDating, called to report that 90 percent of the 14 people who participated in the company’s recent event at Bangor’s Sea Dog Brewing Co. found a match. Not bad for a first-time event.

Rink, a Woolwich native now working for the Boston-based company, said those who didn’t find a match were given a free pass to the next event.

Jessica Bloch can be reached at 990-8193 or jbloch@bangordailynews.net


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