November 07, 2024
Sports Column

Time runs short for a long list

Oh, Holy Night! Where did all the time go? The last thing I remember, I was sitting in a tree stand, waiting for Bubba Buck to stroll in front of me … and this morning I wake up and my calendar informs me that I’ve got exactly Not Enough Shopping Days left until Christmas.

Not to worry. I’m used to this. I’m a journalist, after all. And (as we like to tell people) we’re used to deadline pressure.

A quick thought to ponder: Did you ever notice that when you’re an adult, you’re “good on deadline,” but when you’re a kid, they call you “a procrastinating slacker?” Hmm.

OK. First things first. It’s time to make a list. No time to check it twice … nor to spend too much time worrying about trivial concepts like “naughty” and “nice.”

Everybody’s gonna get something. And everybody’ll like what they get. Or else.

(Just do me a favor: Make sure you don’t tell anyone on my list what they’re getting.)

Dawn, my fiancee, is getting my undivided attention, whenever she wants it. That, and a pair of breathable waders, since the pair of waders that I made her wear when I proposed to her last Christmas were a bit too hot.

I never told you about the ring-in-the-waders story? Hmm. That’s another thing I’ll have to get around to … one of these days.

In addition, Dawn may also get a nifty hunting hat with ear flaps (no Mainer should be without one), or a shotgun (which I’d be able to borrow), or a boat that’s bigger and more seaworthy than the 14-foot S.S. Minnow.

Or, maybe I’ll come to my senses and get her something she really wants. Another thought to ponder: Does peace and quiet come in a box? And do you know someone who can wrap it for me?

Molly and Sarah will get loads of fishing knowledge. Somehow. Whether I have to pay a guide to come to Holden and give it to them or not.

Actually, the girls are avid anglers, and their natural curiosity makes them perfect pupils.

Hopefully, I haven’t taught them too many bad habits. Or, if I have, I hope they’re not the bad habits they can’t get rid of with a bit of hard work and hour after hour of fishing futility.

And thankfully, I’m pretty sure I’ve avoided teaching them many of the things I’m best at. Like sticking a hook through my finger (and not bleeding a drop!) … or tossing a perfect sewn-on-smelt into the water before tying it to the business end of the fishing line … or tripping over rocks while hiking (but not falling off a cliff in the process).

Pudge the Dog will get to learn the joys of bird hunting. I think. (This one’s up in the air, because his master has yet to master the whole joy-of-bird-hunting thing, either.)

He’ll also get a year’s supply of belly-rubs, and a few new chew toys (although we’re beginning to realize that he gets a much bigger kick out of gnawing plastic clothes hangers than he does chewing the more expensive toys we buy).

Oreo the Cat will get a mouse. Somehow. I swear, he will. (Though not, technically, my cat, he has shown a hunting aptitude – or lack thereof – that reminds me of somebody I know fairly well.)

My hunting pals will get their deer (with no useful advice from me). My fishing friends will get the solace they seek on the water (and I won’t even rat them out when they claim to have caught Moby Togue … again).

And me? I’m hoping Santa brings me a moose permit … but I’m not crossing my fingers quite yet.

Clarifications and corrections: In Saturday’s column, a sentence that appeared was incorrect. That sentence – and the point I was trying to make – need to be repeated.

In Maine, children 10 years of age or older can operate a snowmobile on land other than that owned by their parents or guardians.

Saturday’s piece said that 10-year-olds had to be accompanied by an adult on land owned by their parent or guardian. That’s not so.

After they’re 10, they can ride alone, on land their parents don’t own, so long as they don’t cross a public way.

The point I was making – which I think is important enough to reiterate here – is that if the law allows youngsters to sled, it’s incumbent upon the parents to make sure that their young rider is safe.

The Quest, Part II: Also on Saturday, I asked for reader input for Thursday’s Christmas Day column. I’m interested in hearing your stories about memorable gifts from Christmases past.

I’m still planning on sharing some of those tales. But if you’ve got other Christmas reflections you want to send along, feel free. Memories of past holiday seasons are welcome. So are Christmas wishes for the future.

Be original. Have fun. And if you’re just so busy shopping that you can’t find time to e-mail something along … just sit back and enjoy yourself. It’s a special time of year. Have fun.

John Holyoke can be reached at jholyoke@bangordailynews.net or by calling 990-8214 or 1-800-310-8600.


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