International children form family in Surry

SURRY – It was just a year ago on Christmas Day that Yonas and Senait arrived in Maine.

It had taken them two days to travel from their homeland in Ethiopia to join their adopted family in Surry. Now, after a year, they still are adjusting to life in America and life in the Millay family, which includes seven other children, all of them adopted from outside the United States.

Joanne Millay, now a single parent, already had three children of her own when she adopted her first child, Khentad, now 15, from Thailand in 1991. Before the year was out, she had traveled to Cambodia and returned with two more youngsters, Mandya and Chanthu, both now 16.

In the last 10 years, Millay has adopted six other children: Yaska from Nicaragua; Gabriel, Vietnam; Lourdes, Romania; Yohannes, Ethiopia; and Yonas and Senait.

Yaska is now 10, Gabriel 13, Lourdes 12, Yohannes 15, Yonas 14, and Senait 15.

“I had always wanted to adopt a child,” Millay said. “As a Christian person and a human being, I feel that we need to have a better world. This is my contribution. So far things seem to work out.”

Raising any child has its difficulties, she acknowledged, and with adopted children, one of whom has severe disabilities and three who are blind, there are often additional demands. Millay stressed that she does not do this alone and that she relies on help from federal, state and local sources and from the children themselves in order to make things work out.

She has particularly relied on the schools in Surry and Ellsworth for the support they’ve given her children over the years.

“The schools have gone the extra mile, and that’s a big thing for a family like mine,” she said. “A lot of decisions were made at the local level. They decided that if they were going to educate these children they were going to do it right. And they’ve done that. All my kids are getting a good education.”

As a result, she said, they will become productive members of society.

The youngsters come from varied backgrounds, some of them having experienced the horrors of war, some the pain of drought and famine. But all have come together to form a family that functions like any other large family, with the older children helping with the younger ones, and all of them pitching in around the house.

“In a big family, it’s hard to get Mom’s attention all to yourself sometime,” Chanthu said. “There’s a lot of work, and I tutor the younger kids. But there were three older kids here when I arrived here, and I was always thankful that they were here when I was little.”

But there also are benefits, she said.

“You learn a lot about different cultures, and you learn to care a lot about people and how to take care of the younger ones,” she said. “That helps in your associations in your life outside the home.”

The youngsters retain some of their cultural traditions. There are visits to Ethiopian and Cambodian communities in other parts of the state, and the children keep in touch with other adopted children from their counties.

Help for the youngsters comes in little ways and in big ones. When Yohannes came to Maine three years ago, he left behind his best friend Yonas at the orphanage where they had lived. Millay tried to adopt Yonas, but, as a single parent with seven children already, the immigration department rejected her application.

She appealed and included in her appeal a letter written by Yohannes in Braille that had to be translated, pleading with the government to allow his friend to come to the United States.

“I told them he was like a brother to me,” Yohannes said. “He was my best friend in Ethiopia. He was sighted. And he helped me. He took me to church and we played together.”

The State Department reviewed the appeal, including the letter, and agreed to let Yonas and his sister come to America.

Immigration authorities in Portland have been a big help over the years, as have former U.S. Sens. William Cohen and George Mitchell, Millay said. The government understands that allowing adoptions from other countries provides a benefit to the United States.

“This is a good thing for the U.S. to do, and these countries understand that,” she said. “They realize that we can help them and give them opportunities that they would not get in other parts of the world. In these countries there is a sense of appreciation, that this is something we do for their kids.”

There is a cost, she admits, that comes out of the taxpayers’ pockets, but there is a benefit to the children that is priceless and a benefit to the country.

“This creates a kinder and gentler image of this country,” she said. “It is something we do as a society, and the benefits are tremendous in terms of international goodwill. It is a gift we give to the world.”