Flowery language Sending a message to a lover can be as simple as selecting the right combination of blossoms

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Loves me – pluck! Loves me not – pluck! Loves me – pluck!

All those little girls pulling petals off daisies may have been on to something. Is it possible to divine the future by picking apart a perfectly good bloom? Not exactly. But in the language of flowers, daisies symbolize innocence, gentleness and loyal love.

There’s a reason red roses are a Valentine’s Day staple: They embody love, desire and respect – not a bad combination if you’re looking to woo the girl (or guy) next door. But if you’re looking for something a little less obvious, there are plenty of ways to say, “I cannot live without you” (primrose); “You will always be beautiful to me” (stock); or “I love you still and always will” (pink and white rose).

“The combinations of flowers that you put into a bouquet can say, ‘I hate you so much I wish you would drop dead,’ or, ‘I love you as much as the stars above,'” said Robin Borok of Bangor. “Whatever you want to say.”

Borok is a Master Gardener who learned the language of flowers two summers ago, when fellow Master Gardener Lydia Mussulman led a class on tussie-mussies. The small “talking bouquets” were fashionable among Victorian men and women, who used combinations of flowers to send “secret” messages while courting.

These messages were defined by the abundant flower dictionaries of the day, writes Geraldine Adamich Laufer in “Tussie-Mussies: The Language of Flowers.” According to Laufer, the definitions come from three sources: natural appearance or character, cultural meanings, and arbitrary meanings assigned by early authors. For instance, oak trees symbolize strength, while buds symbolize promise.

By combining different blossoms, leaves and herbs, Victorians were able to compose an elegant, eloquent poem that expressed passion, love, friendship or flirtation. But many flowers had multiple definitions, which meant messages often were mixed. For instance, the yellow rose means “friendship, the highest mark of distinction,” but it also can symbolize unfaithfulness.

“It could be anything, and maybe, depending on what you combined it with, it could mean something different,” Borok said.

On Valentine’s Day, the last thing people want is to send mixed messages, so it’s no wonder why people stick with the obvious.

“Roses of course are always the most popular,” said Fran Berthiaume of Lougee & Fredericks in Bangor. “Yellow is hugely popular year-round, but that’s a friendship rose, so we don’t do many of those at Valentine’s Day.”

Berthiaume said people come in all the time looking for flowers with a message. For couples who are going through a rough time, she often puts together a spring bouquet of tulips, daffodils, iris and lilies, which symbolizes a new start.

“We hear them all,” Berthiaume said, laughing.

If you’d like to send a romantic message of your own, you can take a page from Laufer’s book. Try tulips – the symbol of the perfect lover. Planning to pop the question? Red carnations symbolize betrothal, while white carnations say you’re “living for love.” Contrary to their name, bleeding hearts have nothing to do with lost love. Instead, they symbolize fidelity, as do ivy, myrtle and rosemary. If you want to show devotion, you don’t need to follow your girlfriend around like a puppy dog. Simply send her a bouquet of lavender, hydrangea, champagne roses and rosemary. Feeling frisky? Choose orchids.

Of course, there are times when a handful of daisies or a clutch of tulips simply won’t do. You may need to pull out all the stops. One year, a customer asked Berthiaume to send his true love five dozen roses in a vase. The message, she said, was clear.

“That’s usually a doghouse flower.”

“Tussie-Mussies” by Geraldine Adamich Laufer is available online at www.workman.com. Kristen Andresen can be reached at 990-8287 or kandresen@bangordailynews.net.

Say it with flowers

Tempted to send your own message of love? The following blossoms, herbs and leaves can be used to express sweet sentiments, according to Geraldine Laufer’s book “Tussie-Mussies: The Language of Flowers.” When you combine them, attach a card explaining the meaning of each flower.

Love: azalea, cinnamon, lemon balm, lilac, myrtle, orchid, periwinkle, pinks, rose (especially red, rose-colored or white), pink tulip, blue violet.

Desire: red rose.

Devotion: lavender, hosta, hydrangea, champagne rose, rosemary.

Domestic happiness: grape, holly.

Adoration: sunflower

Affection: marigold, pear, wormwood.

Beauty: camellia, pink carnation, cinnamon, daylily, delphinium, lilac, maple, orchid (especially cymbidium), peony, roses of all colors, pink rosebud.

Lasting beauty: carnation, wallflower, stock.

Beautiful eyes: variegated tulip

Faithfulness: dogwood, verbena, blue violet

Flirt: daylily, feverfew.

Friendship: galax, gerbera daisy, ivy, Peruvian lily, alstromeria, pine, pussy willow, yellow rose, willow.

Grace: Carolina jasmine, pink rose, rue, pink rosebud.

Secret love: gardenia.

Innocence: daisy, English daisy, freesia, primrose

Our souls are united: phlox

Married bliss: myrtle.

Sweetness: delphinium, white lilac, magnolia, pinks, sweet violet

Wait for me: evening primrose