Plodding ‘Twisted’ is ‘joylessly dull’

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In theaters

TWISTED, directed by Philip Kaufman, written by Sarah Thorp, 96 minutes, rated R.

The new Philip Kaufman movie, “Twisted,” is another one of those glossy, eye-popping crime thrillers starring Ashley Judd as a strung-out woman living a life of peril.

Like its predecessors – “Kiss the Girls,” “Double Jeopardy,” “High Crimes” and “Along Came a Spider” – the movie features a premise that’s such a stretch, it nearly snaps the celluloid on which it’s filmed.

Unfortunately, unlike those other Judd jaunts, this one is so lazily conceived, it never becomes the guilty pleasure it should have been. Without a trace of suspense to sustain it or a thread of logic to needle it through, the movie is so joylessly dull, it can’t save itself from collapsing onscreen.

This time out, in what might be considered a minor break from form, Judd plays a character who isn’t just in danger, but who might, in fact, be the danger. She’s Jessica Shepard, a feisty policewoman recently turned homicide detective who has, shall we say, her share of problems.

Booze is one of them. Jess loves the drink, particularly wine, which she guzzles until her eyes roll back in her head, the room spins and she falls flat on the floor.

Or on top of a man. You see, her other pastime is picking up smoky strangers in sleazy San Francisco bars and taking them home for rounds of aggressive sex, which she enjoys to the point of passing out.

Lately, when she comes to the next morning, she does so with the cold news that the previous evening’s trick has wound up dead, with a cigarette burn on the back of his hand and his face beaten to a bloody pulp. Is she the murderer? Jess doesn’t know – she was too stoned to remember. Still, the movie strains to mount a mystery around that very question, with Samuel L. Jackson, Andy Garcia and David Strathairn rounding out the dim corners.

As directed by Kaufman from a script by Sarah Thorp, “Twisted” is a train wreck, with Ashley Judd stuck in the caboose.

Initially, the scenes in which Judd transforms her cute, tart image into that of an alcohol-soaked tramp are grotesquely fun, with Kaufman nearly creating a camp erotic thriller of note. But as the movie unfolds and the script becomes increasingly implausible, that note turns out to be D flat.

For instance, in spite of standing tall as the only suspect in each of the murders, Jess is inexplicably allowed to stay on the case, in spite of the rather sizable conflict of interest that creates. Kaufman and Thorp try to breeze over that beauty, having one character claim that Jess would lose her career if she weren’t allowed to stay on the case, and in the process, they somehow believe audiences will buy it.

They won’t.

Grade: D-

On video and DVD

THE MISSING, directed by Ron Howard, written by Ken Kaufman, based on the novel by Thomas Eidson, 135 minutes, rated R.

In the opening scene of Ron Howard’s western, “The Missing,” Cate Blanchett, in full period drag, straddles a writhing Mexican woman, holds her down and forcibly yanks the last rotten tooth from her head.

It’s 1885 and times are tough in New Mexico, particularly for a beleaguered healer such as Blanchett’s Maggie Gilkeson, a single woman raising two daughters with the help of Brake Baldwin (Aaron Eckhart), the scruffy cowpoke she loves, albeit secretly.

As played by Blanchett in one of her most rewarding and challenging roles since her breakout performance in “Elizabeth,” Maggie is a force to be reckoned with, which is a good thing since her teenage daughter, Lilly (Evan Rachel Wood), has recently been kidnapped by a band of Apaches determined to sell her and other women in Mexico.

Reminiscent of John Ford’s 1956 classic, “The Searchers,” in which John Wayne gave one of the best, most memorable performances of his career, “The Missing” conspires to reconnect Maggie with her father Samuel (Tommy Lee Jones), who abandoned Maggie as a child and who has since re-entered her life to make amends.

In spite of the cold fist of hatred Maggie feels toward him, she soon realizes she has no choice but to seek his help. As such, he joins Maggie and her young daughter, Dot, (Jenna Boyd) in their quest to find Lilly.

The film, which screenwriter Ken Kaufman based on Thomas Eidson’s novel, “The Last Ride,” is more claustrophobic than last year’s other western, “Open Range,” and it’s never as scenic as the films of Sam Peckinpah and Ford. Still, it does have energy, comedy, and passion, rising above the contrivances that drive it because Howard’s heart is in it so completely.

There are moments in this movie that are unshakable, such as the look that wavers across Maggie’s face when it occurs to her that she might have lost her daughter forever to the evil Chidin (Eric Schweig), or the scene in which scores of fiery arrows hurtle through the air and sink still ablaze into the bellies of unsuspecting horses.

Howard doesn’t hold back in “The Missing,” and neither does his cast. Together, they’re a force, lifting the movie above its distracting lapses into forced mysticism and mythmaking with superlative action and acting.

Grade: B+

Christopher Smith is the Bangor Daily News film critic. His reviews appear Mondays and Fridays in Style, 5:30 p.m. Thursdays on WLBZ 2 and WCSH 6, and are archived at RottenTomatoes.com. He can be reached at BDNFilm1@aol.com.

The Video-DVD Corner

Renting a video or a DVD? NEWS film critic Christopher Smith can help. Below are his grades of recent releases in video stores. Those in bold print are new to video stores this week.

American Splendor ? A-

Anything Else ? B+

Bad Boys II ? C-

Bruce Almighty ? B+

Cold Creek Manor ? D

Duplex ? B

The Fighting Temptations ? C

Finding Nemo ? B+

Freaky Friday ? A-

Good Boy! ? C+

How to Deal ? C-

House of the Dead ? D

The In-Laws ? C

Intolerable Cruelty ? B-

The Italian Job ? A-

Le Divorce ? C-

Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers ? A-

Lost in Translation ? A

Looney Tunes: Back in Action ? B-

Man on the Train ? A-

Matchstick Men ? A-

The Matrix Reloaded ? A-

The Missing ? B+

My Boss’s Daughter ? BOMB

Nowhere in Africa ? A

Once Upon a Time in Mexico ? B-

Open Range ? B+

Out of Time ? B

The Order ? D

Pieces of April ? B

Pirates of the Caribbean ? A-

Radio ? C

Runaway Jury ? B

School of Rock ? B+

Secondhand Lions ? C+