Quest for fishing hat is difficult

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For years, I have been on the lookout for a simple, yet unbelievably elusive object that will (I assure myself) help turn me into the fisherman I ought to be.

Every time I open a fishing catalogue … I search the pages for it. Every time I walk through the doors of L.L. Bean, or Wal-Mart, or a fly shop or a sporting goods store … I scavenge the racks in hopes of finding it.

Do I need it? Really, truly need it? Hmm. That’s a question for another time. All I know is this: I crave it. I desire it. And I won’t rest until I find it.

I have many others like it. Almost exactly like it, in fact.

But the models I have … aren’t quite it. And that fact continues to drive me forward. Searching. Hunting. Looking. Hoping.

The quest continues. Time after time. Store after store. Catalogue after catalogue. Hour after hour.

Somewhere, the perfect fishing hat is waiting for me.

All I have to do is find it.

Let’s get one thing perfectly clear: I have plenty of hats that I wear fishing. I have my favorite – the dorky-looking droopy tan one which always elicits the same response from my regular fishing buddy: Hey, Gilligan!

And I have the others (all of which I wear proudly … even as I shop for their replacement): Baseball caps of all colors and descriptions.

Bangor Daily News caps. Fly shop caps. College caps.

Each of them, at one time or another, has been the fishing hat … at least for one journey to a lake or stream.

But none of them (I tell myself) is it.

The reason, of course, is that perfection is a near-impossible ideal … especially when it comes to finding a hat you’re expecting to not only be functional, but also to somehow (magically if necessary) provide with more luck than you ever deserved.

It must be unusual … but can’t look stupid. It must be sharp … but not dapper. It must durable, so that when I beat on it, or stick it with a fly, or drop it overboard, or step on it, it won’t get ruined. And it must float (see also: “dropping it overboard”).

Also, (this is important) no matter what, it can’t look anything like that long-billed semi-baseball cap Portland attorney Tom Connolly always wears.

Oh. One more thing: It’s got to sop up water … as it floats.

The reason: When I fish, I overheat. And I have found (much to the amusement of all of my fishing buddies … until they adopt my technique) that dunking your fishing hat in a lake or stream, then plopping it back on my head is a good way to not only cool down, but also to improve one’s fishing luck.

We call it “cool-hatting,” and believe me … it works (at least when it comes to cooling down … the jury is still out on the “luck” part).

I have one hat (the ultra-dorky Gilligan model, in case you’re wondering) that I have dunked in the Atlantic and Pacific oceans, along with Lac Barbel in Quebec, the East Outlet of the Kennebec, Grand Lake Stream, Sebago Lake, Green Lake, Beech Hill Pond … you get the point.

Each time, the result was good: the cool water ran down my neck. I was refreshed. I was thankful that my (almost) perfect fishing hat was with me.

Still, I’m sure that my luck would have improved even more … that I’d have fished much better … if I could ever find the perfect cool-hatting hat. Somewhere. Anywhere.

I have seen the perfect fishing hat a few times … always firmly attached to the head of another angler.

The odd thing: Perfect fishing hats are not universal. In fact, I’m quite sure that they’re only truly perfect on one particular angler’s head.

Those other perfect hats? I’ve searched them out. I’ve tried them on. And every time I do … and take a glance in the mirror … I see a dude-ranch dud staring back at me.

I have come close to achieving that perfect match between hat and head. The closest: A stylish, semi-unique leather Indiana Jones-meets-Sam Spade hat I found … then bought … then gave to my fishing pal as a Christmas gift to thank him for his boundless hospitality.

Every time we fish, he wears that hat. Every time we fish, he eyes my droopy perfect-hat-by-default … and calls me Gilligan.

And every time I return home, I pore through catalogues… and am dismayed that his perfect hat is not being sold any longer.

Of course, on me … I’m not sure it would have the same effect.

It’s hard not to get frustrated. It’s hard to soldier on. But I think I may have discovered another way of going about my quest.

Perhaps I ought to be shopping for the perfect head instead.

Those who enjoy spending time at Sunkhaze Meadows National Wildlife Refuge will have a chance to perform some needed volunteer maintenance this weekend.

The refuge is planning a trail-trimming day on Saturday from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. Volunteers will meet at the refuge office on Main Street in Old Town at 9.

Interested volunteers are advised that wet conditions are likely, and bringing loppers, as well as lunch and water, is a good idea.

For more information, call 827-1942 or e-mail plwells@oakleafs.com.

John Holyoke can be reached at jholyoke@bangordailynews.net or by calling 990-8214 or 1-800-310-8600.