You remember the song. It would cause you to reach across your car’s front seat to slam the radio onto another station. It would force you off the couch, screaming, to run across the living room to turn off the stereo or find another song, any song.

It was your personal “worst song ever.”

Mine was “In the Ghetto,” Elvis’s weak attempt at sociological observation. It was the way he pronounced ghe-e-e-eto that got me. Elvis had one of the best voices ever but chose the worst songs whenever possible. If you ask me, it was all downhill after “Jailhouse Rock” and my favorite, “Old Shep.”

(If dogs have a heaven, there is one thing I know. Old Shep has a wonderful home.)

Then there was “Ebony and Ivory,” the sappy duet by the sappy Beatle, Paul McCartney, and Stevie Wonder. It’s a wonder my life didn’t end as my Honda swerved all over Maine highways while I changed the station at all costs to life and limb, just to avoid that song.

Now Blender Magazine (a new one on me) has gone to the trouble of assembling a list of “The 50 Most Awesomely Bad Songs … Ever.” If you can wait, there will be a television show to unveil these beauties at 9 p.m. May 12 on VH1.

If you can’t, stay tuned. Sadly, neither “Ghetto” nor “Ebony” made the list.

No “bad songs” list could make it without Michael Bolton. Mikey came in at 48 (thought he would be much higher for ripping off Otis Redding) with “Can I Touch You … There?” I must admit I missed that one.

Billy Joel didn’t make many mistakes, but “We Didn’t Start the Fire” was one. That got him 44 on the list.

Bette Midler can be entertaining but some of her songs such as “From a Distance” can be a bit much. Blender Magazine concurred and gave her the 37 slot.

Remember Don Johnson’s singing career? Blender did. They have the “Miami Vice” star the coveted 35 slot for “Heartbeat.”

I would forgive Meat Loaf (there’s a name) anything after his spot in “The Rocky Horror Picture Show,” but Blender did not. They gave Meat No. 29 for “I Would Do Anything for Love.” I like that song. Great to scream along when alone in the car.

As if Michael Jackson didn’t have enough trouble, Blender squeezed him in at 25 for “You Rock My World.”

Lionel Richie, who ran rock ‘n’ roll for a decade, came in at 22 for “Dancing on the Ceiling.” All right, it was bad.

New Kids on the Block should be top five material but the best they could do was No. 12 with “Hangin’ Tough.” It must have been hard to pick just one NKOTB song, since they all sounded exactly the same.

The top five were the richly deserved Vanilla Ice and “Ice, Ice Baby,” Limp Bizkit and “Rollin,” Wang Chung with “Everybody Have Fun Tonight” (I liked that song, too) and the estimable Billy Ray Cyrus with the tooth-grinding “Achy Breaky Heart.”

Drum roll, please.

The worst song also was the all-time sellout song, “We Built This City,” by Starship, the disintegrated (serves you right) Jefferson Airplane. It was a long way from “Up Against the Wall.”

The words to “City” were penned by famed wordsmith Bernie Taupin, the longtime and very close associate of Elton John. Taupin later did “Candle in the Wind” for John.

I wonder if that is enough to live down the disgrace of coming in first in a list of “Awesomely Bad Songs”?

Now that you have been informed of the list, you can go out to Home Depot to shop for paint on May 12 with a clear conscience.

Happy shopping.

Send complaints and compliments to Emmet Meara at emmetmeara@msn.com.