Kjrsten Keane spends a lot of time in chatrooms and searching the Internet for singles ads and matchmaking questionnaires.
So much so in fact that she has had to talk to her husband about it.
“I go to a lot of the pages to see what kinds of questions they ask and what’s needed to join and I swear I always tell my husband, it’s just research,” she said with a laugh.
No, Keane isn’t looking for a little something on the side. The Milford resident is a doctoral student at the University of Maine’s College of Education and Human Development, examining how and why people look for love online.
You’ve heard about some of my wacky experiences online – in addition to a success story I related about my friend Candace – and I have lots of good, positive stories to tell based on e-mail I’ve received.
Keane is looking at the big picture, and I think what she has found bears out in real life: Relationships can get off to a great start online. But it’s meaningless if things don’t click without the computer screen and you’ve-got-mail chime.
“You have to take it offline at some point in order for it to be what is considered a successful personal relationship in this day and age,” Keane said. “You have to meet at some point, face to face. You have to take it off the computer.”
Keane’s interest in online dating stems from her earlier research in technology and communication. She started with examining how teachers use the Internet to communicate with students and parents; from that grew an interest in how people use the Internet for communication in all forms. She wanted to know if personal relationships could be as valid if they begin online rather than in a face-to-face meeting.
Keane found much more.
“It isn’t just ‘I want to meet somebody and start dating them,'” she said. “People were experimenting with different personalities, different sexualities. People were going outside of their gender roles and their married roles to try new ways of relating to other people. This is more than online dating. This is online personal relationships in ever aspect you can imagine.”
Keane also has found in her research what those of us in real life experience – computers allow people to develop relationships without physical barriers.
“People can converse and be more intimate and be themselves if they don’t have the added pressure of seeing each other face to face,” she said.
Keane became interested in all of this after she got married, so she has never tried Internet dating herself. But her friends who have tried it like the chance to meet and get to know people who, for example, are in the same classes in school and want to get to know each other outside of the classroom. That’s something that has happened at Maine colleges such as Bowdoin and Colby, where on-campus matchmaking Web sites have gained popularity.
Although Keane is focusing on a national level, she sees opportunity to regionalize her research. The interesting thing about places such as Maine, where towns and people are often far apart, is that technology connects almost everyone.
“We have a laptop program, we have a strong distance education program, a lot of televised classes,” Keane said. “In any rural state, it stands a better chance of success. But I think it can work anywhere as long as people give it a shot.”
8minute record attempt
Looking for a date good enough to set a Guinness World Record?
Try the Chocolate Grill on Saturday, June 12. That’s where 8minuteDating will try to set a record for the largest speed-dating event ever.
The 3 p.m. event, which is for singles ages 40-54, is part of a national competition to establish your city (well, Old Town anyway) as the world-record holder for the largest speed-dating party. I don’t see how Old Town can compete with Boston or New York City for the crown, but it sounds like fun.
The event costs $25, which is $10 off the regular ticket price.
For more information or to register, go to www.8minuteDating.com. Advance registration is required.
Jessica Bloch can be reached at 990-8193 and jbloch@bangordailynews.net.
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