Close-up on history Religious mourning rituals illuminated at Bangor museum’ s photography exhibit

Turn a corner at the current exhibit “Images of New England, Visions of Bangor: Photography and the Human Experience” at the Bangor Museum and Center for History, and you come face to face with death.

A large photograph of a 2-year-old girl who died in 1850 occupies one wall. Victorian-era jewelry made from the hair of dead loved ones, a mourning picture in silk embroidery worked in 1817, and a beautifully drawn and inscribed memorial plaque done in the early 1900s to remind a Jewish family to say prayers for the dead at the end of a year of mourning draw the viewer into an aspect of human experience most prefer to avoid.

To further illuminate the subject of death and grief, a panel discussion about the rituals of mourning will take place 5-7 p.m. Tuesday, June 29, at the museum. Maria Brountas, John Frawley and Christine Cantor will discuss the mourning rituals of Greek Eastern Orthodox, Irish Catholic and Jewish tradition. Gary Smith of Brookings-Smith funeral home in Bangor will serve as moderator.

The primary theme of the museum exhibit is the history of photography: how the media, families and artists used the medium.

“The exhibit,” said Linda Jaffe, museum executive director, “is really a continuation of the first exhibit, ‘From Away,’ which looked at the people of Bangor.”

A museum collection photograph of a young boy’s funeral at the turn of the century sparked the idea of focusing part of the exhibit on death and mourning, Jaffe said.

“Many are afraid of the dead,” said Christine Cantor, a member of the Beth Israel congregation in Bangor, and whose husband is rabbi of the synagogue. Established rituals of mourning, she said, help take away that fear. In her church, preparing the dead for burial and providing spiritual and emotional support to the bereaved is the task of the church community. Those of the Jewish faith are usually buried within 24 hours of death, without embalming, in a simple casket, with the deceased wrapped in a plain white shroud. It is only after burial that mourning may begin.

The dead, Cantor said, are prepared for burial by volunteers, or “holy friends,” who are members of the synagogue congregation. They wash the body, say the proper prayers, and wrap the body in the white shroud that is universal to all, regardless of social or economic status, to signify equality in death.

“Men prepare men, and women prepare women,” Cantor said. “It’s a very reverent experience. It helps make death more real and makes you more appreciative of life. It helps you to understand that it’s OK to mourn.” The body is never left alone, she said.

Part of the Jewish mourning ritual includes the rending of garments, or of special black ribbons made for that purpose, the covering of mirrors and the placing of low chairs, which help the bereaved turn from life as usual to enter the process of grieving. For the next 30 days, mourners avoid entertainment and social gatherings, but they return to work. Visitors to the bereaved say, “May their memory be a blessing.”

“We are required to talk about the person who has died,” Cantor said.

Talk and stories also play an important part at Irish wakes, said John Frawley of Bangor, a former city engineer. He remembers attending family wakes in the 1950s and ’60s, when he was a young man.

“Generally,” he said, “the wake lasted two days and was always held at home. A funeral wreath, trimmed with black ribbon was hung on the front door. The day of the funeral, the casket was moved to the church, Mass was said, then everyone went to the cemetery [for the burial].”

Frawley remembers relatives at wakes telling stories about the person who had died.

“It brought out emotions other than grief – joy and laughter and nostalgia.” The stories wove the dead person back into the lives of the living.

Traditionally, in centuries past, Frawley said, the Irish laid out the body at home on a bed or a table. Someone stayed with the body until burial, guarding it from evil spirits. Keening, or intense wailing and lamenting, was a part of Irish wakes, and was done by individuals or groups. It gave verbal substance to the visceral feelings of grief and was thought to ward off evil spirits. Keening was banned by the Catholic Church in the 15th and 16th centuries.

“Irish communities,” Frawley said, “had people who were well-versed in the history of Ireland, folklore, genealogy and the family history of the deceased person.” The wake was a celebration of life and also included food, drink and fiddle-playing.

“May you be in heaven a half-hour before the devil knows you’re dead” is a traditional Irish blessing.

It is traditional for those of Greek Eastern Orthodox faith to say to the bereaved, “Zoe se sus,” or “Life to you.”

Mourning ritual in the Greek Eastern Orthodox tradition, said Maria Brountas of Bangor, includes koliva, made with boiled wheat and other ingredients, prepared for memorial services held on the third, ninth and 40th day after a death. It is distributed in small cups or plastic bags to all in attendance, she said.

“The boiled-wheat tradition,” said Brountas, who is a founder of Pathfinders, a group that helps children through the grieving process, “was initiated by Jesus with these words: ‘Verily, verily, I say unto you, Except a corn of wheat fall into the ground and die, it abideth alone: but if it die, it bringeth forth much fruit.'”

Koliva ingredients include wheat to symbolize rebirth; pomegranate, the red part, to symbolize the blood of Jesus; parsley, the green of Earth; raisins, the sweetness of heaven, and almonds, life’s bitter moments.

Brountas will make koliva to serve at the panel discussion on June 29.

“If we cry,” Cantor said of the mourning process, “it’s working.”

Ardeana Hamlin can be reached at 990-8153 and ahamlin@bangordailynews.net.