It’s that time of year. You’ve sent off the response card with its fancy calligraphy, thick, cream-colored envelope and the U.S. Postal Service’s latest “Love” stamp.

Once again, you left the “and guest” box unchecked. You’re going to that wedding solo. No date. By yourself.

Here’s one solution, found on an online supermarket of sorts known as craigslist:

Are you tired of going to weddings alone? Do your family and friends wonder why you don’t have a girlfriend? I am willing to be your “girlfriend” for any occasion for a fee of course. I’m cheeper than an escort, attractive, have a professional job and more importantly, a GREAT liar! Email me and I will send you a picture and we can discuss any upcoming events in which you’d like a date!

This woman – who is a bad speller and grammarian and possibly a bit insane – lives in the Toronto area, in case this option interests you.

I’ve never attended a wedding alone, but I’ve gone without a traditional date. I’ve gone to family weddings with my parents. I’ve gone to friends’ weddings and sat with other friends. Last summer I went to a wedding on the arm of my lovely and charming little sister, Joanna.

I know, I know. It’s socially acceptable to have a date. Without one you’re a big old loser, stuck at the dreaded singles table, watching all the couples dance to “I Will Always Love You.”

Going alone to a wedding is what you make of it. If you choose to mope, fine. But you won’t catch me – or other smart singles – doing that.

Why do we want someone with us so desperately, anyway? Why does a bad speller from Toronto thinks there’s a market for Rent-a-Wedding-Date?

Like most things, it’s a confidence issue. It’s hard to stand alone surrounded by wedded bliss. It brings up all the old questions – what’s wrong with me that I don’t have anyone to share this with? When will I find someone to bring to a wedding? Will I have a wedding at all?

It’s OK to think this way for a minute or two. Then, snap out of it, because going it alone can be lots of fun.

So you’re by yourself – and looking great by the way, because we always shine up the shoes and put on mascara for weddings to give us a boost of confidence.

Which allows you room for some big-time practice flirting. You’ll probably never see the person sitting next to you again. Go ahead, chat up the second cousin of the bride, or the groom’s college roommate’s little brother.

And don’t overlook the “help,” so to speak. As a woman of a certain age, I can remember a “Beverly Hills, 90210” episode that rings true: Andrea brings hunky date to wedding. Andrea spends more time talking to the bartender than date. Flash forward several years: Andrea has a baby with and gets married to bartender (who happened to be a law student moonlighting as a bartender, if I recall correctly).

If you’re alone and in the mood to dance, or just want to practice your dancing skills, just ask somebody. Who cares if you step on his toes? You probably won’t ever see him again.

Still not convinced that attending a wedding solo can be a great way to meet people, boost your confidence and practice social skills? Look at it this way:

If you’re truly single and have enlisted a pal or a Rent-a-Date, that person could hinder your efforts to meet someone. Say you see the bridesmaid of your dreams. Do you feel comfortable leaving your date alone while you talk to the girl in the frilly dress? And how would you explain your relationship to your date, whether she’s just a friend or even worse, a bad speller from Toronto who’s being paid to hang out with you?

Well, I hope she’s making some money from her little endeavor, at least enough to pay for some remedial grammar classes.

Even cicadas need a boost

My hometown in northern Virginia is under invasion by cicadas, which are big, ugly, cricketlike bugs that come up every 17 years to, well, mate. The Washington Post reported recently that one local boy has taken it upon himself to be a matchmaker.

Ian Houghton, on the other hand, will be sad to say goodbye. After learning all about the cicadian life cycle at Flint Hill Elementary in Vienna,

According to the Post, 6-year-old Ian Houghton of Vienna, Va., set up a cicada dating service. To help them “get married,” as he says, Ian finds singing male cicadas and pairs them with nonsinging – and presumably female – cicadas.

“We’ve watched the results,” his mother, Anne, wrote the Post “and he’s been pretty successful in ensuring that there will be another generation of cicadas in Dunn Loring and Vienna. As if they needed any extra help!”

Jessica Bloch can be reached at 990-8193 and jbloch@bangordailynews.net