In theaters

THE TERMINAL, directed by Steven Spielberg, written by Sacha Gervasi and Jeff Nathanson, 121 minutes, rated PG-13.

The new Steven Spielberg movie, “The Terminal,” is terminal, all right. It’s terminally long and terminally dull – a one-way ticket to Bore-a Bore-a that’s such a vacant slog, audiences should be rewarded with free travel miles just for sitting through it.

Based on a screenplay by Sacha Gervasi and Jeff Nathanson, the movie is slight, sentimental slop. It tries to mimic the brilliance of Frank Capra, but fails in doing so.

It’s the worst film Spielberg has made since 1991’s “Hook,” the weakest his star, Tom Hanks, has released since 1990’s “Joe Versus the Volcano.” It’s such a misstep, you have to wonder what compelled these two talented artists to make it, particularly since their choices are usually so sharp.

Whatever the reason, here’s their movie, taking up space in theaters like a candy-coated stink bomb. Too bad. After the enormous critical and financial success of their previous collaborations (“Saving Private Ryan,” “Catch Me if You Can”), interest in “The Terminal” was relatively high, helping to push the movie to a $19 million opening. Expect that number to plummet as word-of-mouth sinks the film.

In it, Hanks is Viktor Navorski, a post-Soviet-bloc stereotype who comes to the United States on a personal mission for his dead father only to learn upon arriving in the States that he’s “simply unacceptable” and won’t be allowed entrance to our country.

What’s the problem? Apparently, Viktor’s own country of Krakozhia launched into war while Viktor was en route to the United States. Now tangled in red tape, Viktor is told by the head of airport security, Frank Dixon (Stanley Tucci), that he’s not leaving the terminal until this mess is sorted out. In this case, that means an end to the war in Krakozhia, which promises to be nearly a year away, with Viktor imprisoned in the terminal as a result.

Much of the film’s premise is inspired by one of Hanks’ better films, “Cast Away,” with Viktor using his resources to survive in an inhospitable land. For money, he first collects airport carts for quarters before finding work doing construction inside the terminal. For food, he either relies on the bounty resting within trash cans or he eats saltines with mustard and ketchup. For romance, however, he hits it big, finding love in a pretty flight attendant played by Catherine Zeta-Jones who just happens to have one screwed-up love life.

With the exception of the film’s tidy and unbelievable romance, there is precedent for the film’s premise – for the past 16 years, an Iranian expatriate has lived in a terminal of Paris’ Charles de Gaulle Airport. Still, precedent isn’t the problem here. What sandbags the movie is the complete lack of chemistry between Hanks and Jones, the film’s long running time, Spielberg’s insulting dumbing down of working class American immigrants (his blue collar workers are dim-witted clowns), and the film’s overtly sentimental ending, which is so ripe and turbulent, you might be crying out for an oxygen mask when it hits.

Grade: D

On video and DVD

SECRET WINDOW, written and directed by David Koepp, rated PG-13, 106 minutes.

On the surface, “Secret Window” seems to have a lot going for it. It’s based on a Stephen King novella, “Secret Window, Secret Garden,” it was written and directed by David Koepp, who wrote “Spider-Man” and “Panic Room,” and it stars Johnny Depp in the lead.

Sounds good, so why is it so uninvolving?

One reason is that everyone involved has grown beyond the material. King has worked variations of this story to death in other, better works; Koepp is ready to branch away from adaptations and once again direct his own original projects; and Depp is in need of a departure: a movie that skirts his quirks and shows off fresh sides of his talent.

Unlike King’s “Misery” and “The Shining,” which “Window” most closely resembles, “Secret Window” isn’t grounded in any sense of believability, which harms it, and its script, by Koepp, is mere scaffolding. In the movie, Depp is Mort Rainey, a popular novelist whose marriage to Amy (Maria Bello) collapsed long before he caught her in bed with Ted (Timothy Hutton). Still, seeing them together has left Mort in the throes of a six-month funk.

Unable to write and holed up in his lakeside retreat, he’s facing divorce and on the verge of a nervous breakdown when into his life comes John Shooter (John Turturro), an angry, mysterious Mississippian who accuses Mort of plagiarizing one of his stories.

Not unlike Annie Wilkes in “Misery,” Shooter demands that Mort do some rewriting, with particular attention paid to the ending, which he wants Ted to fix or he’ll fix Ted and everyone else in his life. All of this builds to a “twist” that’s telegraphed from the film’s first tracking shot.

Pay attention, and Koepp reveals everything to you. If you miss it, not to worry. The film’s obvious plot elements only lead to one outcome, which in this case proves especially pat and violent.

Grade: C

Christopher Smith is the Bangor Daily News film critic. His reviews appear Mondays and Fridays in Style, 5:30 p.m. Thursdays on WLBZ 2 Bangor and WCSH 6 Portland, and are archived at RottenTomatoes.com. He may be reached at BDNFilm1@aol.com.

The Video-DVD Corner

Renting a video or a DVD? NEWS film critic Christopher Smith can help. Below are his grades of recent releases in video stores. Those in bold print are new to video stores this week.

Along Came Polly ? D

Bad Santa ? B+

Big Fish ? B

Brother Bear ? B

Calendar Girls ? B+

Cheaper by the Dozen ? B-

Dirty Pretty Things ? A-

50 First Dates ? C+

Fog of War ? A

Gothika ? D

Ghosts Of The Abyss ? C+

The Haunted Mansion ? C

House of Sand and Fog ? B+

In America ? A-

Kill Bill, Vol. 1 ? A

The Last Samurai ? C

Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King ? A-

Lost in Translation ? A

Love Actually ? B+

The Magdalene Sisters ? A-

Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World ? A

Matchstick Men ? A-

Miracle ? B+

Monster ? A

Mystic River ? B+

Open Range ? B+

Osama ? A-

Paycheck ? D

Peter Pan ? B+

The Rundown ? B

Scary Movie 3 ? B

School of Rock ? B+

Secret Window ? C

Something’s Gotta Give ? A-

The Station Agent ? B+

Stuck On You ? D+

Swimming Pool ? B+

Sylvia ? B-

Thirteen ? B+

The Triplets of Belleville ? A

Torque ? D

21 Grams ? A

The Weather Underground ? A-

Welcome to Mooseport ? D