Creative flair saves registry presents

Tis the season to get married.

Chances are, you’ve already received a half-dozen invitations to weddings, showers, rehearsal dinners, and Jack and Jill parties this summer. You’re scheduled every weekend through the end of September. And when it comes to gift ideas, you’re ready to tie the knot – around someone’s neck.

Don’t fret. Like you, I’m booked for the summer. Last weekend it was a shower. Tonight, it’s an engagement party. But I’ve been paying close attention, and I have a few surefire gifts for every occasion.

The first question everyone asks is, “Do I buy from the registry or not?” Though the bridal registry is intended as a courtesy to guests, it can be a bit confusing. You need to take several factors into consideration: age and living status of the couple, how well you know the bride and groom, and how much money you have to spend.

Couples are getting married later in life than they used to, and most of them already have dishes, flatware and kitchen goods. For these couples, the registry is a way to upgrade. But unlike the thirtysomethings who use the registry to fulfill their wants, younger couples who live with their parents actually need these things.

If you don’t know the couple well – say, you’re a friend of the bride’s second cousin – stick to the registry. You can’t go wrong. And if you don’t have much money to spend, you

may feel uncomfortable giving the couple a check for $25, but if you choose from the registry wisely, your $25 can go far.

According to the Association of Bridal Consultants, the average guest spends $85 on a wedding gift. If your budget is significantly smaller than that, you shouldn’t let it restrict your creativity. You weren’t invited to the wedding for the gifts – you were invited because the couple wants to share their special day with you. And there are plenty of ways for you to make it special for them.

At last weekend’s shower, one of the bridesmaids bought a small scrapbook, a few packages of stickers and a Polaroid camera. Throughout the shower, she snapped pictures of the guests, stuck them to the pages and passed the book around for people to write blessings. At the end of the day, the bride had a priceless keepsake, even if the actual elements cost less than $20. Scrapbooking supplies are available at Target and Jo-Ann Fabrics, as well as all those little “crop shops” that keep popping up. I like Judy’s Scrappin’ and Stampin’ in Orono, but my scrapbooking friends tell me they’re all good.

Another gift that spans the budget spectrum is a beach bag for the honeymoon. As a bonus, summery bags are on clearance at Gap and J.C. Penney. Pick up a big tote and fill it with a romantic beach towel for two ($7.98 at Target), his-and-hers flip-flops and sunscreen. If your budget is a little higher, throw in an underwater camera – perfect if they’re going somewhere warm enough to snorkel – lip balm, travel soaps and shampoos, a beach umbrella, or whatever strikes your fancy. In addition to packing a big punch for a little bit of money, this gift is something the bride and groom can both enjoy.

This leads me to the Jack and Jill shower. My colleagues threw a his-and-hers party for ShopGuy and I before we got married, and it was fabulous. But there is a risk of these becoming tedious for the groom. I don’t know any man who gets excited about towels and flatware, and if I did, I would think twice before marrying him.

If you’re invited to a Jack and Jill, I beg you, think of the groom. Many couples get married and buy a house at the same time and this is a great opportunity to give more practical gifts – a set of high quality paintbrushes packed in a paint pail is fabulous. (As an aside, with paintbrushes, you get what you pay for, so it’s better to splurge on one than buy three of lesser quality.) At our shower, my executive editor brought us a graphite hammer and a wood-framed level. ShopGuy appreciated it, and so did I.

On the other hand, a gift need not include tools to appeal to the bride and the groom. One of my friends from the copy desk gave us a set of garden tools, two kneelers and two sets of gardening gloves. Since we both love gardening and landscaping, it was an amazing gift.

It all boils down to how well you know the couple. If you’re the mother of the bride or groom, you obviously won’t need much help picking a gift. And if you and the bride met in kindergarten, pick a gift that highlights an aspect of your friendship. If you and the bride meet for coffee every week, get her a coffeemaker (I highly recommend Cuisinart if your finances allow), or a set of coffee or espresso cups with a bag of gourmet coffee beans. If you and the groom golf together, set up a tee time for the two of you a week before the wedding – the bride shouldn’t get all the attention, after all.

Say you’ve only known the couple for a short time. What do you do then? It may seem boring, but stick to the registry. There are ways to jazz it up, however. If they’re registered for mixing bowls, throw in a matching rubber spatula, a few cookie cutters and a cookie cookbook – a sweet sentiment. If they want wineglasses, add a nice bottle of merlot. A friend of mine picked martini glasses off our registry and included a book titled, “The Art of the Cocktail” with recipes and photos. And there are few couples who wouldn’t benefit from a copy of “The Joy of Cooking” thrown in with their frying pans or muffin tins.

All you need is a little imagination to make things memorable – even if you have 15 weddings to attend.

Win this bag

Want a beach bag filled with summertime goodies for the bride and groom? Or you can keep it for yourself. I won’t tell. Send me a short letter about your funniest wedding-related shopping experience – keep it G-rated (or PG) – and I’ll pick the best story for my column. Send your letter, name, address and phone number to: ShopGirl, P.O. Box 1329, Bangor 04402-1329. Entries must be received by Tuesday, July 27. Winner will be announced in my column on Saturday, July 31.