How restraint can lead to true freedom

With typical wit, Oscar Wilde once observed: “In this world there are only two tragedies. One is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.”

The gratification of desire – getting what one wants (i.e. when what one wants is not what one ought to be wanting) – ultimately, inevitably results in tragedy, he says.

The Bible bears witness to a similar principle: “Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death. Don’t be deceived, my dear brothers.” (James 1:15-16, NIV.)

But someone will ask, “What is legitimate desire and what is not? Who among us is qualified to define sin for all others everywhere? Isn’t morality a mere social construct – formed by cultural context and always relative to the times?”

Besides, what if the dark side of human desire is nothing but an ornery display of defiance? You’ve heard of the glass house that had never been broken – until its owner posted a big sign: “Do Not Throw Stones at This Glass House!” Then the house took hits daily.

Scripture certainly supports the idea that rules and regulations can have that sort of provocative effect: “… sin found a way to pervert the command into a temptation, making a piece of ‘forbidden fruit’ out of it. The law code, instead of being used to guide me, was used to seduce me.” (Romans 7:8-9, The Message.)

Why not then just trash biblical law altogether – and all other laws based on biblical law? Why go on submitting to the miserable restraint of narrow, archaic and relative moral standards?

Consider marriage, for instance. Should marriage be legislated? Ought it be restricted? Wouldn’t even legal favor for traditional marriage simply serve to darken the liberties of this enlightened age?

Growing up, I lived with my family on the edge of my grandparents’ 78-acre farm. The farm provided pasture for about 25 head of cattle.

Each summer my brother and I would help my grandfather ensure that all of his fences were up and working. I remember often feeling the painful pulse of electricity as I tested those fences with a piece of grass.

One day something bad happened. The cows escaped their fence. They went into a cornfield next to the pasture and started eating corn. They ate corn, and more corn, and more corn. They ate corn all night. They ate so much corn that they became fat and bloated.

In the morning my grandfather discovered what had happened. He called for us to help him herd the cattle back into the pasture. Some of the cows were so full of corn that they were very sick. Two nearly died from all the green corn they had eaten.

In my five decades (plus) of living, I’ve watched a lot of cows and I’ve watched a lot of people. If cows need fences, people need fences even more desperately.

Yet today for the most part, fences in general, and the historic fences of freedom in particular, seem vastly unappreciated. Instead we continually hear variations on the theme of fence breaking and fence removal.

Why? Who still doesn’t get it? Who still believes that a fenceless society can be a viable society? Who still insists on trusting the inherently self-indulgent nature of men and women left to their own devices?

What a small boy in a candy store needs most is not more pennies in his pocket. It’s the kind but firm hand of imposed discipline on his shoulder. For his very survival, mind you.

As with small boys, so with cultures.

Dr. Vernard Eller, former professor of religion at La Verne College in California, says: “Free men get that way and stay that way by steering clear of fake freedoms. The commandments mark off small areas into which free men ought not to go -precisely so that they can remain free to roam anywhere else in the great wide world.”

The Bible indicates that the law was designed to serve an even nobler purpose – as a schoolmaster, pointing men to its own fulfillment in Christ. Yet that purpose in no way minimizes its parallel role as a warning sign.

So Oscar Wilde’s admonition remains relevant. Having himself pushed long and hard against the fences of traditional, biblical, strictly heterosexual marriage mores, he now perpetually declares that when he finally got what he wanted and the fences gave way -it was tragedy, not liberty, that he found waiting on the other side.

The Rev. Daryl E. Witmer is pastor of the Monson Community Church and founder and director of AIIA Institute, a Christian apologetics organization. He may be reached via AIIAInstitute@aol.com. Voices is a weekly commentary by five Maine columnists who explore issues affecting spirituality and religious life.