Book helps romantics cook up a hot date

Ah, cooking for a loved (or hoping-to-be-liked) one. The romance. The aromas. The anticipation.

Oy, the stress!

Some say it’s best to wait until you’re deep into a relationship to do the cooking-date thing because it’s kind of commitmentlike. I say as long as you’re comfortable alone with your date in your house (or his-her house), go for it. Cooking together and sharing the results can be quite revealing.

I’ve been thinking about this recently, scouring my meager collection of cookbooks for a good veal Parmesan. I’m no cooking expert – ask my sisters about my struggles with Jell-O or talk to my pals about the birthday cake incident – but I was looking for some inspiration when a friend sent me a book called “Booty Food.”

Sounds pretty racy, huh? It is. Co-author Jacqui Malouf, who can be seen flirting … um, I mean, cooking … with chef Bobby Flay on the Food Network, has sections on overindulging on alcohol (Too Funk to Druck), the perfect morning-after breakfast (Post-Coital Lobster Eggs Benedict) and foods to put you in the mood (Aphrodisiac Alert). We’re all set here in Maine – potatoes are on Jacqui’s list.

For singles the real gem of this book is the first chapter, which is all about dating. As Jacqui says, you’re not gonna meet anyone while “moping around your living room watching Sally Jesse give makeovers to lucky ex-convicts.” So get out – bars, restaurants, museums, the post office, a college course, volunteering.

My favorite page in the entire book is a collection of 15 small pictures of Jacqui (she’s pretty cute, so it’s easy to look at 15 pictures of her). It’s an illustration of proper table language – actually, it’s not proper, but exciting. She’s laughing, smiling, playing with her coffee cup, eating, making a face as if something’s too sour. She’s using body language and facial expressions to flirt. So much more interesting than sitting like a lump of crabmeat.

Anyway, if you’ve decided to make dinner for a date, here’s what I’ve learned. Remember, I’m a novice cook. I’ll bet some of you can whip up a fantastic meal in no time, while others are at the just-learning-to-make egg-salad level like I am.

Stick to what you know. Don’t try rack of lamb the first time around. Your date will be impressed that you’re cooking at all, so keep it simple.

Use colorful, texturally interesting ingredients. It makes the cooking experience fun and also fools people into thinking that the recipe was fancier than it is. I recently hoodwinked a dinner date into thinking my chicken was extra-special when it was really chicken with a bunch of stuff: sun-dried tomatoes (easily rehydrated in a bowl of chicken stock from a box), toasted pine nuts (left in a pan on medium for eight minutes) and pesto (already prepared by my friend Buitoni, who lives in the fridge at Shaw’s).

And if the recipe calls for something such as pesto, buy the prepared stuff. Trust me. As Jacqui says in reference to sauce for a Jamaican jerk chicken recipe, cheat on your recipes … not on your partner.

There are little things you can do to make things taste extra-special. If you’re going to be using grated Parmesan cheese, for example, buy a hunk of the real stuff instead of using what comes out of the green plastic shaker can. Grating Parmesan at the table looks cool, too. Looks kind of like you know what you’re doing.

Time the evening so that most of the hard part is done but there are still a few little things left to do. A good date will gladly toss the salad or slice some bread.

Actually, I think the most revealing part of the evening can be what happens after dinner, and no, I don’t mean what Jacqui’s talking about. I’m talking about cleaning up.

Now, I wouldn’t ever ask a guest to wash dishes. He’s the guest, and if he gets something on his clothes he can’t exactly do a quick change. But a good date will at least help clear the table and put away leftovers or things such as the salt and pepper shakers.

Some hosts don’t like the bumping into each other of small kitchens; it’s their space, they know the way it needs to be cleaned up and what goes where. But just imagine where all that bumping into each other can lead.

And remember, it’s OK to burn everything. As long as you’re good-natured about it, your date won’t mind – and might even spring for a replacement pizza.

Jessica Bloch can be reached at jbloch@bangordailynews.net.