“Malt does more than Milton can to justify God’s way to man.”- A. E. Housman.

Although his name and deeds may have been lost in the mists of time, it is Bavarian King Max Joseph that we have to thank for the Oktoberfest, the annual celebration of good times and, especially, beer. MaxJ, as he would be known by rappers today, knew a comer when he saw one and Crown Prince Ludwig was all of that. CPLud (rappers again) had won the hand of the fair Princess Therese von Sachsen-Hildburghausen (TVonHil). It was 1810 and it was party time.

“The mouth of a perfectly happy man is filled with beer.” – ancient Egyptian saying, 2,200 B.C.

The wedding was celebrated in one of the greatest beer blasts of all time, a five-day extravaganza on the lawn of the Sedlinger Tor. Everyone was there. Even 40,000 smelly peasants got to mix with the A-list. The royal family, the royal court, the royal magistrate were there, and of course CPLud and TVonHil, the bride and groom.

There were horse races every 15 minutes and, it is rumored, it was here that the “bottomless glass of beer” was invented.

Music was limited, it is written, to oompah bands. Once the hangovers lifted, everyone agreed it was a great time and the Oktoberfest was born, even if it was originally known as “Theresienwiese” in honor of the bride. No one could spell it, sort of like Yastrzemski. The horse races were dropped in 1938. But the beer stayed.

“Give yeast a chance.” – Happy Dog Brewing Supplies

Today, millions from all over the world attend the annual 16-day beer blast in Munich, dress in lederhosen and dirndls, drink liters of dark beer and sing German songs that no one (expect the Germans) understand. (Kind of like “Louie, Louie.”)

The party starts when the mayor of Munich taps the first keg and declares “O’zapft is!” translated roughly as “party down, dudes!” All right. The Oktoberfest is actually held in September because of the proximity to the Alps and all, but you get the message.

For Mainers too poor (or too chicken to fly at 30,000 feet) to attend the Theresienwiese, we have several options in the celebration of beer.

“I will make it a felony to drink small beer.” – William Shakespeare, “King Henry VI, Part II” Act IV, Scene ll

The ninth annual Acadia Oktoberfest and Food Festival will be held from noon to 6 p.m. on Saturday, Oct. 9, at Smuggler’s Den Campgrounds on Route 102 in Southwest Harbor on Mount Desert Island. The heavenly products of 20 Maine breweries will be featured.

The Bangor Oktoberfest will be held outside noon to 5 p.m. Saturday, Oct. 16, at West Market Square in downtown Bangor. Beer lovers should also remember that the mammoth Maine Brewer’s Festival will be held 3-7 p.m. and 8:30 p.m.-12:30 a.m. on Saturday, Nov. 6, at the Portland Expo in Portland.

“Beer, if drunk in moderation, softens the temper, cheers the spirit, and promotes health.” – Thomas Jefferson

The Acadia Oktoberfest is the successor to the infamous “Pignik” held on the Southwest Harbor waterfront in the late 1980s. With beer events, it’s hard to nail down a firm date. Pignik offered both free food and drink, an idea bad enough to close it down within a few years because of the inevitable “rowdy behavior,” according to Bruce Carlson of the Southwest Harbor-Tremont Chamber of Commerce.

When most of the scars healed, “Pignik” was reborn under Chamber sponsorship in 1993 or 1994 (that beer memory again) and eight or nine Maine microbreweries took up residence in the beer tent. By 2000, 15 or 16 brewers signed on and the party got much too big for the original marina and it moved to Smuggler’s Den.

“That was a lot better with better traffic control and a lot more room. It gets bigger every year. Now we have 22 breweries and one winery, (Blacksmith Winery of South Casco) at last count,” Carlson said.

“It is a fair wind that blew men to beer.”- Washington Irving

Now there are three 140-foot tents filled with beer, food and crafts. The food tent will include everything from bratwurst and sauerkraut to Thai food, barbecue, lobster rolls and hot dogs. The $20 admission will get you 10 4-ounce glasses of beer. General (nonbeer) admission is $5.

“This is not a low-carb day,” said Carlson. “It is a great event for the area. We get a lot of the leaf-peeping crowd and there are accommodations galore since it is after the season.

“The brewers tell us that this is their favorite brew fest because of the outdoor atmosphere, all the room, the crafts and the music. We have never had an incident here. We are well managed by the police and we even have plainclothes police on the grounds,” he said. The Acadia Oktoberfest and Food Festival will include traditional German music plus contemporary and country acts.

“I never met a beer I didn’t drink.” – Norm Peterson of “Cheers”

Survivors of the Down East extravaganza should remember the Bangor Oktoberfest, outdoors at West Market Square.

Organizer Brad Ryder says “There will be all kinds of fun. The Rotary Club and the German Club will provide a variety of food from knockwurst to sauerkraut and of course, the beer tent. There will be a variety of entertainment from accordion music to rock and roll and guitar solos. There is no admission charge.

“This is the fourth or fifth year [that beer memory again] and it is hardly a money-maker,” Ryder continued. We will be thrilled if we don’t have a loss. It’s just a celebration of food and good times and to attract a few hundred people to the downtown area. It’s a fun time and we have always had good weather. It’s a celebration of fall, with a beer or two.”

“He was a wise man who invented beer.” – Plato

The Maine micro beer industry is alive and thriving, despite national trends of consolidation and curse of the Atkins diet, Edward Stebbins, president of the Maine Brewer’s Guild and vice president of Gritty McDuff’s Brewery of Portland, says.

“Maine microbrews are still gaining market share. We have 6 percent of the market in Maine which is very healthy. There may be one or two fewer microbrews, but competition is a good thing,” Stebbins said.

Along with virtually every tourist-related business in the state, microbrews had a lousy June and July. “But it appeared that we recovered in August and September. Shipyard reported very strong sales,” he noted.

“I woke up this morning and got myself a beer.” – Jim Morrison

Stebbins predicted a strong future for Maine microbrews. “We have one heck of a product and we are known for our quality. Maine microbrews have won more than their show of medals in national competition. Visitors always seek out Maine-made products. They can always find a local microbrew if they are looking for one,” he said.

Maine may also see a few new distilleries in the future, he predicted. “We will see. It can only help,” he said.

Microbrews took off like a rocket in the late 1970s and early 1980s as beer drinkers got “bored” with the same old mass-produced product. An aging population focused more on quality than quantity. When foreign imports started selling very well at $7 a six-pack, local brewers recognized a market.

That has not changed. “We are here to stay. We are not going anywhere,” Stebbins stressed.

Neither are the beer drinkers or Oktoberfests.

“Most people hate the taste of beer to begin with. It is, however, a prejudice that many people have been able to overcome. ” – Winston Churchill

O’zapft is!

Emmet Meara can be reached at meara@msn.com.