Jeff Cole knew last week the cancer that had been ravaging his body for the past 3 1/2 years would soon take his life.

He had hoped to visit the University of Maine, where the Black Bears’ assistant football coach could talk to his beloved players, fellow coaches and friends one last time.

Cole was simply too sick to make the trip to Orono.

Instead, coach Jack Cosgrove and the entire UMaine football team went to Bangor last Thursday night to see Cole at his home.

Cole spent time with everyone who showed up, sharing his message to “live strong” and saying goodbye.

Early Monday morning, the 30-year-old Cole lost his valiant fight against transitional cell carcinoma.

“All of us associated with Maine football are deeply saddened by the loss of our coach and friend Jeff Cole,” Cosgrove said. “He was as fine a coach and leader of young men as I’ve ever been around. It’s been a privilege for me to work with him.”

Team members learned of Cole’s death Monday at a 7:30 a.m. meeting. The athletic department did not make players available for comment.

Visiting hours for Cole, who is survived by his wife Andrea, will be held today from 6 p.m. to 9 p.m. at Brookings-Smith Funeral Home on Center St. in Bangor. Funeral services are scheduled Thursday at 1 p.m. at the United Methodist Church in Orono.

UMaine will host a memorial gathering at 7 p.m. Thursday at the Wells Conference Center.

The UMaine football team also has established the Jeff Cole Fund, the proceeds from which will be used to support Andrea and help defray the family’s medical expenses. Donations in honor of Cole can be made to: Jeff Cole Fund, c/o Caren Haskell Ford, University of Maine Football Office, 5747 Memorial Gym, Orono, ME 04469-5747.

“We had a special guy who got saddled with a dreadful and awful disease,” Cosgrove said. “He battled it and gave it everything, and it just didn’t work out.”

Cole, a native of Avon, N.Y., was in his sixth season with UMaine. This year, his responsibilities included coaching the running backs and coordinating the special teams.

Cole will be remembered at UMaine for a relentless work ethic and his dedication to molding young men on and off the football field.

“For me, he really exemplified what you want your coaches to be from the standpoint he really believed that he was a teacher and that coaching was his mode and his method of teaching,” said UMaine athletic director Patrick Nero. “He had a strong passion for impacting the lives of people, especially the students on our football team.

Cole left an indelible impression on the UMaine family. Throughout his illness, he worked tirelessly to help the Bears win football games and to help young men deal with the pressures of being Division I student-athletes.

The most important lesson Cole taught everyone associated with the program was how to be courageous and compassionate, even in the face of a terminal illness.

“Spending time with Jeff over the past few days, one thing he kept telling us was, ‘make sure you give more than you get,'” said UMaine offensive coordinator Bobby Wilder, who considered Cole his best friend.

“This was the dignity, the fortitude, the courage that this man had,” he added.

Never was that more evident than last Thursday night.

“Jeff was phenomenal in terms of his presentation to them – inspired them,” Cosgrove said. “He had an exchange with each and every member of our football team.

“I think the most special moments of my life have been witnessing the births of my children, but this one will be right up there,” he added.

Cole spent a few minutes with each person to say goodbye and try to help put them at ease.

“His message was, he wanted them to see how brave he was and that he wasn’t afraid to die, so they shouldn’t be afraid for him,” Nero said.

“Jeff said, ‘I’m in a lot of pain, but I’m going to be in eternity without pain,'” Nero said. “‘Right now, it’s more important to me that I have a clear head and be able to say goodbye.'”

Cole was a 1992 graduate of Avon High School in upstate New York. He received a bachelor’s degree in education and history from St. John Fisher College in 1996. While there, he was a three-year letterman on the football team and a special-teams standout.

Cole was an assistant at St. John Fisher in 1996, then joined the UMaine program the next year, also working as an assistant director of admissions.

After meeting his future wife, Cole accepted a job teaching U.S. history and psychology at Bonny Eagle High School in Standish where he was the offensive coordinator and line coach.

Cole returned to UMaine in 2000 and helped lead the Bears to back-to-back Atlantic 10 titles and NCAA quarterfinal appearances in 2001 and 2002.

“His calling was college football,” Wilder said. “He was always a perfectionist. He wouldn’t accept mediocrity in his players or in himself. I think that’s why they loved him so much.”

Cosgrove said the Bears will keep striving to be the best they can be.

“You carry with you the message that he modeled and you move on, because it’s something that has to be done and that’s the way he would have wanted it,” Cosgrove said.

UMaine players will continue to wear a helmet decal of an arrow pointing upward, signifying Cole’s theme of working together, going in “one direction,” as a tribute to him.

“I think what he wanted to make sure of was that we didn’t sit around saying, ‘jeez, at his age, he never got to reach his potential,'” Nero said. “His feeling is he did reach his potential and I think he wanted to be sure that everyone saw that you don’t have to live to 100 to impact people.”