ORONO – The struggle to be accepted by family, friends and colleagues often is difficult for gay and lesbian college students. Throw in religious beliefs that condemn homosexuality onto the rocky road most travel in deciding to “come out,” and young adults sometimes wind up alienated from their parents and their church.

In his award-winning 75-minute film “Family Fundamentals,” documentary filmmaker Arthur Dong explores how religion can keep family members from accepting each other after someone declares he or she is a homosexual. It premiered at the Sundance Film Festival in 2002 and aired on Public Television last year.

The movie will be shown at 7 p.m. Tuesday at the University of Maine next week as part of its annual Coming Out Week. It will be followed by a discussion led by a Congregational youth minister about the role religion can play in the coming-out process.

Matthew Small, the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender liaison to the dean of students, helped organize the weeklong program. Small picked the film because he felt college-age men and women struggling with their sexual identity might see themselves in it.

“I chose this film because over and over again as I speak with students, religion is a common theme in their struggle,” Small, a 24-year-old graduate student said Thursday. “I feel that this film really captures three people’s stories and some of the emotions students go through. It’s also important that those who are not gay experience the coming-out process through the eyes of someone who is.”

Brett Matthews is one of the men profiled in the film. The descendant of the Mormon pioneers who settled Utah, he was raised on a farm in the foothills of the Rocky Mountains. The film follows Matthews, who was forced to leave his career in the U.S. Air Force, as he returns home for the first time in four years to attend his grandmother’s wedding.

At first, it seems that the reunion might be happy, but his parents renege on appearing on camera and ask him to drop out of the production as well. He refuses, and in an emotional, gut-wrenching confession reveals that his family’s rejection is, in essence, a rejection by his church. It calls into question his faith and worthiness to be a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

“I want to be accepted and viewed as a righteous person,” Matthews tearfully reveals in the film. “I don’t want to be viewed as an outcast. What makes them think my faith is less than theirs?”

Small understands the man’s spiritual struggle. He was active in the Congregational church growing up and as a high school student was a national leader in the United Church of Christ. While the United Church of Christ is very progressive – it ordains gay and lesbian clergy and allows the blessing of same-sex unions – each congregation is autonomous. Small said Thursday that he doesn’t remember homosexuality being a topic of conversation in his church.

Two years ago, Small fell in love with a man who grew up in a fundamentalist Christian church. He had not told his family he was gay and felt if he did tell them, they would disown him. He wasn’t willing to take that risk, Small said, so their relationship ended.

“He chose his family over his identity,” he said. “He’s now dating a woman. … It was heartbreaking for me, it was heartbreaking for him, too.”

Small said that in his work at UMaine, students often cite their families’ religious beliefs as one of the reasons they are reluctant to come out. He believes the film will show them that they are not alone.

Judy Harrison can be reached at 990-8207 and jharrison@bangordailynews.net.

Coming Out Week events

Sunday, Oct. 24

2 p.m. “Bent,” Hauck Auditorium, Memorial Union

The play will be followed by discussion in Coe Room.

Monday, Oct. 25

7 p.m. Bangor Lounge, Memorial Union

Abigail Garner, author of “Families Like Mine: Children of Gay Parents Tell It Like It Is,” will speak.

Tuesday, Oct. 26

12:15 p.m. Coe Room, Memorial Union

“Bi-sex’u-al,” a film,

7 p.m. Room 100, Donald P. Corbett Hall

“Family Fundamentals,” a film.

Wednesday, Oct. 27

7 p.m. Bear’s Den Pub, Memorial Union

Jessie Mallory concert.

Thursday, Oct. 28

6 p.m. Multipurpose Room, Memorial Union

Wilde Stein Alliance open house

Friday, Oct. 29

9-11 p.m. York Commons

Coming Out Week Dance.