High gas prices or not, V-8 power is the way to go

It seemed like such a good idea at the time.

The latest in a long line of Hondas had actually lost its transmission after less than 30,000 miles, a shocking event. While the dealer was performing his single bypass operation, a free rental was offered. The only vehicle left was a V-8, four-wheel-drive truck.

After a few miles, I was hooked. Probably a million miles in energy-efficient imports was enough. The power. The sound. I had not driven an American V-8 since the ’60s, a Ford with an interceptor engine that went just as fast as you dared but left a haze behind you like a crop duster.

I left it behind when the engine started ejecting parts on Route 3, halfway home from Cape Cod. First, a British racing green VW, then eight Hondas were in the driveway. Some got 30 miles a gallon. Some flirted with 40. I figured I had done my part for the ozone and the planet.

I needed a truck to haul the inflatable Achilles to my Cobb Manor yacht. I was killing my back trying to get it on the roof racks of the Accord. Once you decide on a truck, you must have four-wheel drive to navigate Maine highways in the winter. The 120-mile trip to Sugarloaf is interesting enough with two-wheel drive. With four-wheel drive, it’s a breeze. Forget the fact that I flee Maine for Florida for a month or two every year. I needed that four-wheel drive, which I have maybe used five times in 60,000 miles. (God, it feels good.)

So the decision was made. The 17-mile-per-gallon decision.

Even that seemed a good idea for a while, when gas was around a dollar a gallon.

Last week, I paid $35 to fill half the gas tank. That’s $35 for half a tank. The gas was $2.05 per gallon. That’s $2 and change for every 17 miles. (A few days later, I got a $420 home heating oil delivery.)

When I was paying 75 cents a gallon and getting 40 miles for each gallon, it cost something like 18 cents per mile, if my math is correct. (Probably not.) This is ridiculous.

Certainly, the truck (with an extended cab) is the most comfortable vehicle I have ever had. Plus, a V-8 has a very comforting rumble. When you want to, the Toyota Tundra can scream down the highway and I have the $200 speeding ticket from Virginia to prove it. I can haul a load of anything you need from here to there. But $35 for a half tank?

Does that mean I could pay $70 for a full tank? I know Gary Fowlie at Village Variety needs the money to pay his Camden taxes, but this is killing me.

I hate to think the unthinkable, but it might be time to go back to the Hondas. Now that I weigh 500 pounds, the Civic is out of the question. But a two-door Accord with a massive stereo system might be acceptable.

Let’s face it. I no longer need the truck to haul the inflatable to the sailboat, which I used exactly twice this year, once to put in on the mooring and once to take it in. I no longer need to get to Sugarloaf because my knees have decided that skiing is just too cold.

I am looking at the car ads again. Those new Camrys look good. At least 30 miles a gallon. I could actually start buying groceries again.

I would like to go back to paying $7 or $8 for the week’s gas.

Naaah.

Send complaints and compliments to Emmet Meara at emmetmeara@msn.com.